Posted on by Abe Austin

Criticizing Another’s Faith- Sharing the Good News

What Good News?)

I am in the middle of describing patterns of un-Christlike and ineffective evangelism, methods that are used by those approaching the conversation in bad faith, who want to own their “opponent” rather than convince a “brother.”

I want to start off today by pointing out the self-defeating approach of wanting to convince someone of the beauty of your faith…by trying to tear down theirs. I have heard many say that they come to share “the good news” with me, only to then spend all their time regurgitating tired accusations against Joseph Smith. That’s the good news you have to share?

This humorous anecdote captures the same spirit as this sort of evangelism: I just got married to the love of my life! She is beautiful, she is kind, she is everything I ever wanted, and I just have to share my love for her with the world! So, I walk up to my neighbor and proceed to tell him what an ugly cow his own wife is!

It is an insecure people who try to establish the superiority of their faith by tearing down another’s. When I see this approach so frequently used against my church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it makes me wonder what it is about our faith that makes others feel so threatened in their own beliefs. Is it perhaps that our “good news” is one of the most liberally gracious gospels of them all? That we testify that we are literal children of God, with the potential to become full divinity? I cannot say for sure, but I find it telling that so much emphasis is put on trying to color our “good news” as wrong, rather than testifying to the superior beauty of their own.

Speak From Beauty)

True evangelism speaks from beauty and hope, not fear and accusation. As a missionary, I learned to approach others by sharing the good that we had, not by trying to make their own faith sound bad. Since I genuinely had something exciting and hopeful to share, it was quite effective, and there were many who were drawn to our message and wanted to learn more of it.

Of course, our good news means nothing if it isn’t true, and I am proud of our missionary program that we emphasize a spiritual confirmation from God as being the only evidence of truth that matters. Don’t take my word for it, don’t let your own emotions cloud your judgment, take it to God and let Him be the final word.

I find that this method of sharing beauty and letting God confirm it is so much better, so much enlightened, than trying to tear down another’s faith. If you actually have a beautiful message to share, focus just on that, and the shortcomings in any other ideology will become self-apparent. We do not need the evangelism of cutting away another’s foundation and dropping them into a pit, then offering them your hand out of it. That is the definition of a toxic, abusive relationship, with forced dependency and manufactured helplessness. That is how cults operate, and it is a devilish and evil method indeed.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Criticizing Another’s Faith- Hostile Tone

Words of Mockery)

As I said in my last post, I am going to spend the rest of this series describing the patterns of un-Christlike and ineffective evangelism, the sort of preaching that drives people away from your message, as it carries a dark spirit, not the Light of the World. In my last post I brought up the importance of the underlying intention in one’s message. People can pretend to pure intentions at first, but over the course of the conversation, it becomes extremely obvious whether someone truly has the welfare of the other’s soul at heart, or simply the desire to decimate his beliefs.

But while intention may take some time to pin down, today we will look at the discussion element that is often the earliest indicator of one’s sincerity: their tone. Tone, of course, meaning the words and voice you choose to describe another’s faith and your disagreements with it.

Mockery, insults, disparagement…these are all tones I frequently see people adopt against my beliefs, and unsurprisingly they have put a very bad taste in my mouth, rather than convincing me of the error of my ways. I am sick of people deriding us members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by talking about us having “magic underwear,” and speculating as to “how many wives” I am married to, and saying we are “part of a cult,” and that we have all been “brainwashed by a conman.”

The moment you approach me with those sorts of sentiments, you have already lost any possibility of a genuine, heartfelt conversation. You are beating the sheep, and they are only going to run from you. And referring back to yesterday’s conversation on intentions, anyone who approaches like this never intended to save anyone. They only seek to hurt.

Respect for Faith)

Now one might say, “but I genuinely do believe that Joseph Smith was a conman, and I really am worried that members of the church have been brainwashed.” Let’s look at the second half of that. Assuming that we are all brainwashed is incredibly patronizing and starts the whole conversation by putting us on a lower level than our accuser. What is more, the claim is impossible to justify given the global and high population nature of the church. Cults and brainwashing consistently require small, isolated, controlled environments, where the leaders are able to cut off outside communication and maintain a single, consistent message. It goes against all research of the phenomenon to say that 18 million LDS worldwide are in such a state, and minimizes the plight of l those who genuinely are victims of brainwashing.

Now let us look at the first bit, about Joseph Smith being a conman. Obviously, I don’t expect hardly anyone outside of my faith to believe that Joseph Smith was a genuine prophet, and if you don’t think he was a genuine prophet, then it’s hard to see how he could have been anything other than a deceiver. I do not begrudge anyone outside of our faith for viewing him unfavorably.

That being said, it seems our culture has lost any sense of respect for the beliefs of others. Even if you don’t believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet, I do. Even if you don’t believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God, I do. And I would expect you to have reverence for the seriousness of my faith. The sincere faith of one’s heart is sacred ground, and you should put off your rough shoes before you tread on it! You don’t have to pretend to agree with me, but coming and making insults towards the things which I hold sacred is a sign of immaturity, and of a lack of human understanding, and perhaps indicates an absence of sacred feeling in your own life.

Because I hold my beliefs as sacred, I respect the sanctity of other’s beliefs as well, even those I don’t agree with. I am not a follower of Islam, and by extension I am not a believer in the Quran or Muhammad. But I respect the very real belief that Muslims do have in those things and that man, and I think that that belief matters. I have no interest in disparaging and insulting them. Let me express my different viewpoints with civility and brotherly-kindliness or not at all.

I will not drag your beliefs through the mud. I believe sacred feelings are sacred. I will not cheapen the depth of your feelings by treating them like a subject for a debate club to squabble over, and I will certainly never refer to them in mockery. I will trust the sincerity of your belief and only proceed with a reverence for that faith that lives in your heart. If the detractors of the LDS faith are mature, they will approach us in the same manner.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Criticizing Another’s Faith- Signs of Bad Faith Arguments

Different Approaches)

I have spent the last couple days denouncing the aggressive approach that some take towards my faith, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, how they seek to crush the good beliefs that I hold, how they make very apparent their anger and hatred; and I have also spoken in favor of establishing a relationship, of honoring the faith of one another, of having opening an honest dialogue over differences of belief.

We can have interfaith dialogue. We can strongly disagree. We can even say, “I believe that my church is the one, true church, and I hope you come to see that for yourself.” And we can do all of it in a manner of brotherlykindness.

For the rest of this series, I want to flesh out the definition of unproductive, un-Christlike “evangelism.” In the past two posts I tried to give some examples of both good and of bad, but now I want to call out specific attitudes and practices that I have only ever seen be used by those possessed with a destroying spirit. These approaches are wrong, whether employed by others towards my faith, by members of my faith towards others, or by me towards anyone.

What Are Your Intentions?)

Intent is what matters first. Even before considering the substance of what is said, why it is said is what actually determines whether a critic comes in good faith or not. Intent means the reason behind the approach. Everything good or bad that follows in the conversation will directly stem from that underlying reason. Determining the intent of a critic is the first thing that every person seeks to understand, evaluating it subconsciously and then changing their entire posture according to what they perceive.

Sadly, having a person tell you their intent is the least reliable method of knowing what it is, as everyone will of course profess a sincere and worthy one. Most deceptive of all, they might even believe their stated intent themselves, but then the following conversation can betray other motives. Because, at the end of the day, intent does not lie. Over time, it always manifests its true form, and that true form always shapes the overall conversation, whether to good or evil.

Every critic of another’s faith will say it is their intent is to bring back to the fold those who have gone astray. They love the lost sheep, and the idea of their eternal torment compels the critic to come and save who they can. Very well, but how do you intend to save the lost soul? As we explored in the last posts, not all approaches are conducive to the convincing of others. Do you intend to win souls through sacrifice and service, through establishing a relationship and being genuinely curious to know another’s heart, through speaking from the place of a friend? Or do you intend to save souls by crushing what beliefs they have so that all that remains are yours? Because if that is what you intend, then you do not intend to save anyone at all.

If you come to convert by dismantling, then it is a destroying spirit behind your intentions. You have deemed a belief as unworthy, and your intention is to purge it. You do not intend to save a brother; you intend to damn an enemy. You do not come to save the world, but that the world through your judgment might be condemned.

And as I said earlier, when those are your intentions, that shapes all the conversation that follows.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Criticizing Another’s Faith- A Better Method

Critique Welcome)

In my last post I went very hard against the “Bible bashing,” faith crushing, spiritual demoralization I see in
“Christian” media today. Having expressed such emphatic condemnation of this method, I want to be clear that I do not feel that all critique of faith falls under this category. There actually is such a thing as pointing out the mote in another believer’s eye, but only if one has removed the beam of his own ego and pride. This approach looks very different from disparagement, insult, and mockery. It looks like thoughtful, respectful discourse.

Thankfully, there are examples of this more Christlike discourse today. One of the best examples I know of is Pastor Jeff on YouTube, who has spent years being curious about my faith, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint. He talks to us to understand where we are coming from, he shows great respect for our beliefs, and he still expresses where his views are different from us and why. He also mentions times when our own language becomes hurtful towards people with his background, and how we could do better. He remains a conduit for those in our faith who may want to know more about his.

And that sort of sincere critique and open dialogue is something that I believe every church needs. Even my church, which I consider to be Jesus’s restored kingdom on the Earth today, is still susceptible to human error, and benefits from the disagreement of well-meaning voices, be they from within its ranks or from outside denominations.

And as I mentioned at the end of my last post, this is the sort of evangelizing that actually works, whereas a visceral, combative approach never does. An aggressive stance only drives people further away from your perspective. They feel your hate, and they want nothing to do with you. At its core, true evangelism is an act of relationship, and genuine relationship is built on respect and trust. It is the only way it works.

Respect for All)

I have personal experience with this. I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, spending every day of two years serving and loving the people of the West Indies. I shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with all that were interested, teaching Hindus, Muslims, and other-denomination Christians alike.

In my last post I admitted that sometimes I, myself, would descend into “Bible bashing” with representatives from other faiths. I did not seek those debates out myself, but when my faith was misrepresented, I would go past merely setting the record straight and went into to a prideful state of having to prove that my position was right. I’m not proud of it, but it is something that I have repented for, and I do believe that I have changed. In the lifetime of this blog, I have written over 750,000 words of my daily faith study, and I would challenge anyone to find a single instance of me saying anything that could be considered an insult of another faith.

Going back to my mission, even though I had some instances of spiritual ego, there were also many other experiences where I felt the joy in having a genuine respect and reverence for the faith of others. I learned that whatever faith a person already had was a good thing. It was a common ground, a shared belief in something bigger than ourselves. From that unified foundation, we could each share the particulars of our faith, and if what I had to share would resonate with them, I would invite them to pursue it further. And if it didn’t, I would leave them with the faith that they already had. No ill will. No trying to destroy their own theology. Just gratitude for the time we got to share and wishing us both continued growth in the future.

Do I think Hinduism is the path to eternal life with our creator? No, not in its entirety.

Islam? No.

Judaism? No.

Buddhism? No.

Catholicism? No.

Eastern Orthodox? No.

Protestantism? No.

But do I think that Hinduism is beautiful? Yes, absolutely. I think it is full of fascinating truths, and a faith worth having, and a cause of good in the world. And the same for Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Catholicism, Eastern Orthodox, Protestantism, and on and on.

And I expect no more and ask no less of others towards my faith. I know you don’t believe that the LDS faith is the true path to eternal life with our creator. But I expect you to respect that I do, and to appreciate the beauty and value that is in that faith, and the good that it has led me to. If you sincerely wanted to “save” me, you would come with respect and sincere appreciation for what I already do have. You would establish common ground. You would seek to add to what I already have, not to tear it down.

Not only would this approach be kinder, not only would it show genuine love, not only would it actually be Christian, but it would also be the only thing that could ever possibly work.

It would not work on everyone. Not everyone is open to a change of faith. That is something else that I learned on my mission, and something that I also had to have sincere respect for. But for those who are already seeking, this is the approach would let them consider whether you have what they are looking for.

In short, people do not value the perspectives of those who despise them. They do value the perspectives of those who show them that they sincerely care. Evangelizing is about establishing genuine and loving relationships, with mutual dignity and respect, and then sharing one’s testimony with only an invitation, not compulsion, for the other to accept it. This approach may not be flashy or fast, but it is true and holy communion.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Criticizing Another’s Faith- Motives Behind Attack

Satanic Evangelism)

I think the most important question when one starts criticizing another’s faith is, “why are you doing this?” What compels one to just start going off with all the things they see as wrong in another religion? To disparage something that they know others hold as sacred?

The answer that I always hear is the same: “I’m trying to help you to see what that you’ve been misguided, so you can be saved. I’m doing this because I love you.”

Which is about as sensible as when a man strikes his wife and says he does so because of how much he loves her. Berating people for their sincerely held beliefs and insulting that which they hold sacred is abusive. It is not loving. It is not caring. It comes from a desire to tear down and not to build up. It does not seek to save. It seeks to condemn. It is not Christian. It is devilish.

Dabbling in the Dark)

I know this, because I participated in it on my mission. Back in 2009 I left on a two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. On that mission, I often came across evangelists from other faiths, and I am sorry to say that we would occasionally get into lively sparring sessions on why we believed in our church…and why they shouldn’t believe in theirs. “Bible bashing” is the common term.

Now, when we were trained as missionaries, the potential for these Bible bashes came up, and the guidance we were given for what to do in such situations was always consistent and clear: “just don’t.” Don’t look for scriptures to prove the other side wrong. Don’t criticize or demoralize. Don’t try to win. Just don’t.

Unfortunately, pride and ego are very strong, and at times I did enter into these verbal mud-wrestling matches. And from that experience, I can attest to the motives and the feelings that are behind the dismantling of another person’s faith. It is not love, it is not charity, and it is not a desire to help them. It is cruelty. It is wanting to beat them, to make them lose. It is hoping for their damnation and rubbing their faces in it.

It is evil, pure and simple, and I repent that I ever participated in it to any degree.

The Pleasure of Domination)

The instruction of our missionary trainers was absolutely correct. No one should ever descend into Bible bashing another person’s faith.

Does that mean to never discuss spiritual differences and never respond to attacks against your faith? No. I do think there is a place for defending oneself and clarifying one’s position. I do think one ought to correct the record when his faith is misrepresented in public forums. I do think there can even be value in structured and civil debate. But if one cannot see the difference between these and disparaging and insulting another’s faith, then they cannot see the difference between righteous defense and devilish destruction. Or he is willfully ignoring the distinction because he still wants the pleasure of breaking what another has.

Because, at the end of the day, insulting someone else’s beliefs does feel “good.” It feels powerful and addicting. It rewards the carnal sensibilities within. It both satisfies and deepens one’s hunger for contention.

A person who ridicules another for their sincere beliefs does not want to save that person. He wants to dominate that person and feel superior to them. He is lashing out from a place of insecurity. I know this because I sadly experimented with those behaviors myself. I know the genuine darkness that I felt in my heart when I gave in to this temptation, and now I recognize that same darkness in those who disparage my faith. I know the ill will that it is behind it, so I do not excuse it. Not in myself and not in them.

Not only is this sort of theological bullying evil, it is also ineffective. If a person actually did sincerely wish to save a brother or a sister, then this would never be the method that they should use. We’ll take a look at what that better method would look like next time, and even consider the example of a skeptic of the LDS faith who uses it correctly.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Criticizing Another’s Faith- A Strange Resentment

A Rejection of “Mormons”)

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Most people still refer to us as Mormons, though that has never been the name of our church. In general, people speak of us as being extremely nice and neighborly, but they often describe our faith as being either very weird or very sinister. Whether it is claims that Joseph Smith was a charlatan and a huckster, or assumptions that the whole religion is demonic, you do not often hear people expressing that there is anything worthy in our beliefs.

This has always been the case, but as of late, the volume of criticism against us seems to be increasing. I suspect that it has to do with the broader cultural and political shift in America. When conservatism and Christianity were on the back foot, targeting your own didn’t make sense, but now that they are having a revival of sorts, some members want to gatekeep who really gets to be a part of that coalition.

My exposure to the increasing criticism came about by seeking media voices that I thought I could relate to. Being an active Christian myself, I enjoy hearing spiritual viewpoints online. Sadly, over the past couple years, every mainstream Christian blog, podcast, or YouTube channel has made it a point to periodically inform their audience how much they disagree with “Mormonism.” Not only is the rhetoric growing more frequent, it is also growing more pronounced, with posts designed around “destroying Mormonism,” and channels that are dedicated exclusively to criticizing the church. Most shocking of all was the people who showed up on social media following the slaughter of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They would “correct” anyone making the “mistake” of calling us Christians when reporting on that tragedy. This seemed a very perverse reflex, and it was deeply hurtful in our time of mourning.

Overall, the attacks against my church seem to be becoming more rampant and more sensationalized. Not an honest disagreement of doctrine, not a genuine desire to save lost souls, but a mean and vicious mockery, at times with full-on fabrication and outright bigotry. This is a trend that has me worried greatly.

A Broader View)

Of course, I have to remind myself that the loudest voices rarely speak for all of the group, or even for the majority. For every YouTuber trying to tell me what my faith is, and why it is wrong, I hope that there are still many other mainstream Christians who would rather leave the judgment to God. Also, I have to remember that mine is not the only Christian minority in the West, and others face similar criticism also. In fact, I recently saw a video from Jonathan Pageau, an Eastern Orthodox, where he described some outside criticism that seemed sounded very similar to my own experience.

Before I continue this study, discussing the resentment I see directed towards my church, I want to make it clear that I know these are individuals who are choosing to attack the faith of others, and I am not making an indictment of any larger denomination as a whole. I know that I have many brothers and sisters in these other denominations, and I am sincerely grateful for them. I have met some of them, and had conversations with them, and I know that they are true Christians. Of course, we have differences in views, and we each champion what we believe to be the fulness of the truth, but we trust God to sort out those differences in His own due time, and we will happily submit to Him as He reveals the truth to us.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Nothing Meaningful Without the Soul

No argument, or even well-meaning discussion, will accomplish anything meaningful, unless you get to speak to the real, authentic soul that lives within the other person. Glimpses of that genuine, vulnerable soul are very rare. It is almost always shut up behind a facade, which you will never make any serious impression upon.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Sincere Disagreement

I would far rather have a man disagree with my genuine beliefs, than for him to disagree with fabricated positions I have never held.
If you try to tell me what I believe to discredit my faith, then your disagreement with me is not rational, it is emotional.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Unfulfilled Dreams- Never How You Think

Years of Longing)

In the last post I shared the recent experience I’ve had of getting a dog, something I wanted ever since I was a child, and the realization that so much of that dream was specific to my childhood and therefore had to be let go as something that could never be fulfilled. This was an interesting experience and it got me thinking about other dreams that I still have.

Probably the most prominent of those dreams is the one for my own career. I’ve often fantasized about being able to start a small business and spending my working hours on projects that I personally care about. My degree in college was Computer Science with an Animation Emphasis. I’ve been able to do a lot with the Computer Science, programming websites and applications for large businesses, but I haven’t really been able to do anything with the Animation Emphasis part. I did try to make a go of it in the Video Game industry when I first graduated from college, but the experience was very distasteful and made me promise to myself that I would only venture back into there on my own terms.

I long to make my own software, my own animation tools, my own gaming engines, my own games. The dream is to be able to subsist entirely off of these personal creative projects, maybe even earn enough to hire another developer or two and build fun things together. I’ve started many projects that I hoped could become my first product, but I’ve always petered out before I had anything that could actually be sold.

Still, I dream of success. I dream of one day making something that’s just good enough. It doesn’t need to be a great hit, it doesn’t have to become famous, but I would want it to be successful enough to quit my 9-to-5 and justify working full-time for myself.

But then, I remember what it was like finally getting the dog I’d always wanted, and that sure didn’t play out as expected. Would it be the same with this?

Inevitable Disappointment)

I’m sure it would be. I cannot think of a single time in my life where I’ve imagined how something would go, and then it was exactly what I’d expected. Serving a mission for my church, going to college, driving a car, getting a job, getting married, having children, owning a home…the list goes on and on. Not a one of these played out how I had envisioned. Some of them were better than expected, some worse, some just different, but never how I thought. Surely it would be the same with my fantasies of starting my own business. Surely not everything would be good about the experience. There would certainly be monotony, tedious paperwork, setbacks, anxiety…yet none of these feature in my fantasies.

The more I fantasize the experience of forging out on my own, the more I set myself up for disappointment. I don’t think that it’s bad for me to have this goal, and I think it genuinely would be good to achieve it, but if I’m too married to a particular image of how it’s supposed to be, I’m likely to receive a good thing and be put off by it still the same.

What I’ve come to realize is that some dreams have to be given up entirely. The timing passes, the opportunity disappears, or there is no assurance it will ever happen. Other dreams can still be retained, but the idea of exactly how they play out must be surrendered. I can have my dreams, but it’s probably best to keep them vague and broad. I can be in love with the idea of owning my own creative business, while leaving the exact manifestation of that open to interpretation.

Having no dreams is a recipe for living a lackluster life. Having too specific of dreams is a recipe for never being satisfied with what you get. Ambition is fine, but let God work out the details, and be happy for what good you do receive, not sullying it by obsessing on what you didn’t.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Unfulfilled Dreams- It Isn’t the Same

Years of Longing)

I’ve wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. I used to watch movies as a boy like Old Yeller, Beethoven, Benji, Homeward Bound, Iron Will, and Balto, then beg my parents to let us get a puppy. I honestly don’t know how my mother felt about it, but my father was always against them. He had grown up with pets, lots of them, and had no interest in dealing with them again. We did get goldfish a couple of times, but that was it. Left to no other recourse, my siblings and I would make pets out of whatever we could. We would catch bugs and put them in jars, make “alien baby dolls” out of paper, and play pretend where my sister would discover the rest of us as wolves in the wild and lead our pack.

It just wasn’t the same.

Of course, eventually I grew up. And for a long time, I had many distractions to keep me from getting a dog. I was going through school, I was starting my career, my wife and I had a newborn, and then another, and then another. We’ve been building our little kingdom for thirteen years now, and just a few weeks ago it started to dawn on me that we had reached a certain level of stability. We have our own home, with a fenced-in yard, no major projects going on, and the kids just got on summer break. So I spoke to my wife about how this was the first really convenient time for us to have a dog of our own. Things moved very fast, and 48 hours later I introduced our new dog to our children!

Since that day, it has been a lot of fun! I’m really glad to finally have the dog that I’ve wanted for over thirty years. But…if I’m being honest…it isn’t the experience I’d always dreamed of.

Shifting Dreams)

In hindsight, it never could be. My dream had always been to have a dog in my childhood. I imagined going out exploring on summer days with my “good boy” by my side, letting him sneak into my room to sleep on my bed, and having a friend and a protector who would never leave. But things just don’t work out that way with a dog at this stage of life. These summer days I’m shut in the office, working to provide for the family. The dog tries to sneak onto the bed, but I can’t stop thinking about how dirty those paws are and tell her to get off. And I’m much more the protector than that dog will ever be.

Like I said, in hindsight, this is obvious, but in the days following getting the dog, it came as a real disappointment. I can still have a good experience with this dog, and I really am doing so, it’s just never going to be the “good experience” I had always dreamed of. That dream was inseparably connected to being a specific age, and I’m simply not that age any longer. That dream is gone, and that’s all there is to it.

But you know who that dream isn’t gone from? My kids. From my ten-year-old to my three-year-old, each one of them has spent hours each day playing, chasing, and laughing with the dog. They’re excited to feed it, excited to bathe it, even excited to scoop up its poop!

And so, my dreams need to shift around a fair bit. I have to let go of the old dream that was no longer possible. I have to accept the new dream, which is still good, but different from what the old one was. And I have to be content to see the old dream live on in my own children. This whole experience got me thinking about other dreams and hopes I’ve had for my life, including ones yet unrealized for my adult life. I realized some important lessons there, too. Ones that I will share in my next post.