In times of comfort, we are able to derive ideals based on pure principles, our logic uncompromised by the instincts of self-preservation or self-advantage that might possess us in times of trouble. But it is only in times of suffering that those ideals are actually tested, transformed from theoretical belief to lived reality. Thus, perfect theory becomes raw conviction, all according to the seasons and wisdom of God.
I spoke previously of how we assimilate into our world model the information that we receive from others, the logical strain that comes from competing messages, and the risk of rejecting old beliefs simply to relieve that strain. That post was focused on the logical/rational element of giving in to false teachings, but there is a social/emotional element to it as well. This element, I believe, stems from the fact that most of us prefer to avoid awkward confrontations, preferring to disassociate with someone rather than face repeated arguments with them. We would rather maintain our moral stance somewhere that it won’t be constantly criticized.
But, detaching from others is not always an option. Perhaps the confrontational person is a close family member, or perhaps the disagreeable principle is being pushed on us from all sides of society. Sooner or later, all of us will find disagreement that we cannot run from, and in that situation we may be tempted to give in to the opposing arguments simply as a means of restoring positive feelings in our relationships.
Sometimes the surrender to outside pressure is explicit, where we voice our capitulation for all too hear, repeating the message that has been being pressed upon us. Sometimes, though, it is only implicit, where we silently give the impression that we have no argument to make against what is being said. I, myself, have fallen into that second category, failing to realize that by my silence I was “serving two masters.”
What did it mean when I would hear others speaking against the truth but was afraid of making the situation awkward? What did it mean when I would remain silent to “preserve the peace?” It meant that I was more committed to social comfort than I was to the word of God. I had found this middle place where I was not converted to the messages of the world, but I was converted to needing to meet social expectations. I was more converted to being “normal” and “non-confrontational,” than to championing the word of God.
There are too many Christians today who are hesitant to condemn society’s sins because they aren’t willing to face the ridicule or awkwardness that follows. I know many Christians who say “it’s not my place to judge, I’m not God,” which is true, but then why don’t not address the fact that God has already ruled on many of these matters in His revealed words. The fact is, we Christians have no obligation to justify why the commandments are what they are, God will take care of that, we only have to point the way to Him.
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So what is Reason #4 for Disbelief? Prioritizing social comfort over proclaiming God’s truth. The more we signify to ourselves that we care more about what our neighbors think of us than God, the more we still start to think and believe as our neighbors do, and not as God does.
The Right Suffering is Better Than the Wrong Comfort
I had a tender moment yesterday with my three-year-old daughter. She had an ear infection and my wife had scheduled an appointment to go and get a prescription, but in the meantime she was irritable and sad. I had a few minutes of break from work, and I saw her moaning on the couch and asked her if she would like me to hold her. She nodded, so I sat down, put her on my lap, wrapped my arms around her, and gently rocked back-and-forth. She gradually started to breathe more deeply, relaxed into my chest, and stopped her fussing. She was calm and content in her daddy’s arms. I have learned from past experiences that it is also helpful in these moments to show some attention to the little details, such as noticing if her fingers are dirty and meticulously cleaning them with a washcloth, one-by-one.
The thing that stood out to me from this most precious moment was that I didn’t even resolve her underlying problem in the slightest! I couldn’t hurry up her doctor’s appointment, and her ear infection wasn’t reduced in any way by my holding and rocking her, but she was comforted still the same.
I realized that it is very much the same with me. I have had sacred moments where I was able to let go of everything else and just be held by my Heavenly Father. I have felt connected to Him as He showed awareness and attention to the littlest of details, washing my hands meticulously and methodically. And when all was said and done, He usually didn’t take away the issue that was originally distressing me, and there was still a process ahead of me to overcome it, but that was okay, because I felt comforted and cared for in the moment, and that was all I needed to keep moving forward.
1 And Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him. 2 And when Jacob saw them, he said, This is God’s host: and he called the name of that place Mahanaim.
We are about to read of Jacob’s reunion with Esau, and it will be abundantly clear how worrying this meeting was for him. He had made it safely away from Laban, but for all he knew he was going out of the frying pan and into the fire!
How comforting it must have been, then, to meet these angelic figures. We do not know what transpired between he and they, clearly the messengers did not remove the issue of meeting with Esau, but at least there would have been the comfort of knowing God was still watching over him in this, his greatest moment of need. Jacob would still have to continue into the lion’s den, but he would not have to go alone.
10 And Jacob went out from Beer-sheba, and went toward Haran.
11 And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep.
This seems like it would be a very fragile time for Jacob. He was raised in a comfortable home, the son and grandson of rich and powerful men, and he had a delicate disposition, preferring to dwell in his father’s tent than to roam in the wild.
Now he is fleeing from his home, in fear for his life, out in the middle of nowhere, and using hard stones for his pillow! Later in this chapter we will hear what thoughts are weighing on his mind, and he is longing for is “bread to eat, and raiment to put on, and to come again to my father’s house in peace” (Genesis 28:20-21).
Alone, afraid, and in want, this is certainly not the happiest of situations to be in. Yet it is while he is isolated and without earthly comfort that Jacob will finally find his God.
The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O Lord, held me up.
In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.
I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
COMMENTARY
The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart
Previously we observed that those whose hope is based in heaven are less likely to feel distressed by the setbacks of the world. But that isn’t meant to suggest that the faithful must never experience sorrow. Indeed, even Jesus wept when he heard of the death of his friend Lazarus.
Even with the hope of heaven, there are still some moments that will make us sad down to the soul. To express sorrow in these moments does not show a lack of faith, and there is no shame in mourning life’s tragedies.
In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul
I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you
The gospel is a message of gladness, but it does not promise that we will never feel sorrow again. What it does promise is that we never have to be alone in that sorrow. We can be sad, but we can also be comforted.
Many have noted, and I would agree, that that promised comfort feels comes as a companionship. It feels like some invisible friend is sitting with me in my hardest moments. And through those moments I have discovered that one may feel sorrow and joy at the same time.
Spiritual Wanderings 