Posted on by Abe Austin

All or Nothing- Summary

Half-hearted discipleship is a terrible limit on one’s soul, our own tepidness would forever hold us back from becoming the people we were meant to be. And I know this, because I have spent a great deal of time in this state! This study was absolutely meant for myself, a reminder for why I need to recommit myself body, mind, and soul every day. I’ve lately started a morning ritual where I reflect on the upcoming day, the temptations I am likely to face, and then make resolutions for how I will stand a little taller.

So much of it comes down to just living intentionally, not allowing myself to slip into autopilot mode. But to do that requires constant engagement, and I find that I cannot maintain it unless I am diving all in.

Anything that compromises me in one area, will tear down my defenses in all areas. I cannot try to be mostly good, I have to try to be all good. And though I will fail to be all good, just because I sincerely tried, the grace of Christ will come in to make up the rest.

Partial Commitment is No Commitment

God loves us and fights for us whether we are entirely devoted to Him, partially devoted, or even if we are not devoted at all. When He calls on us to be fully invested in His gospel, it isn’t because of His ego. It is for our own sakes. He knows that “all in” is the only way that discipleship can work for us. I spent years trying to live a double life, frantically filling my coffers with good deeds, to try and make up for the indulgent vices I was also doing on the side. It didn’t work, the vice robbed the coffers, and every good thing I tried to do felt hollow and insincere.
We know that Satan entices us to be full-blown sinners, but he is also perfectly content with part-time Christians. Both groups are left within his power. If we think that we are serving God and the world, in reality we only serve the world.
Lest it sound like I am demanding perfection, I wish to stress that our actions will inevitably be flawed, forever falling short of the ideal. But even if we never measure up to perfection in action, we can be perfect in picking ourselves back up again after each slip. Our commitment can still be complete, we can be invested in always trying once more. That is enough. That much God is able to work with.
Matthew 6:24- No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
Luke 9:62- And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

The Gospel is as Valuable as You Make it

But what does it take to have a full commitment? Nothing less than the promise of all things. Only the assurance of every eternal happiness will compel a man to sacrifice all that he has. The question arises, then, do you believe that every happiness is offered within the gospel? Perhaps you don’t. Perhaps you only see it as able to offer some insights and some pleasantries, but not necessarily as the end-all-be-all ideology. If that is the case, then you will not be able to follow it wholeheartedly.
That doesn’t have to be the end of the story, though. One can work from this point forward. First and foremost is to accept that all things are promised by the gospel. Whether or not you think they can be delivered is another matter, but let there be no doubt that the gospel claims to be able to provide you with every eternal blessing.
Then the question is whether those promises of the gospel can be trusted or not. And to determine that, one only needs to test its various parts. Really lean into prayer and see whether you feel the presence of something eternal or not. Really dive into the scriptures and see if they are alive with an unseen Spirit. Really adhere to the commandments that you can and see whether you experience the promised change of heart. Test the gospel in enough areas, see it bear the fruit that is promised in each, and soon enough you’ll have faith in it all. But do your testing sincerely. Be all in each step that you take.
Luke 15:17-18- And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him: make me as one of thy hired servants.

Without the Gospel You Have Nothing

Who is willing to make such an experiment, to sincerely commit to something so demanding, and all on only a sliver of hope? Well, usually none of us until we are first broken and desperate. Most of us have to try and live without the gospel first, find ourselves in dire straits because of it, and only then become willing to try the things we had previously scorned.
But let’s back up a bit. At the outset, the world offers many things, and the pleasures it promises make it very easy for us to dismiss the gospel. Entertainment, recognition, diversion, stimulation…these are all pleasant things, and the first tastes of them are so intoxicating that we believe they will forever be enough. When you have enjoyment like this, what need is there for things like resurrection, grace, eternal life, and forgiveness? We are content without them.
In time, though, all the getting still leaves us wanting, the pleasures grow stale, some of them are even taken from us on a whim. Eventually we realize that the everything of the world means nothing to us anymore. And the spiritual things we considered to be nothing now mean everything. The soul grows desperate for the eternal, and one becomes willing to sacrifice everything of the world, just to obtain any of the grace that God is willing to measure out to them. And God, of course, is willing to measure out all of it.
John 6:68- Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.
Matthew 13:45-46- Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.

Posted on by Abe Austin

All or Nothing- Socrates and Pearls

The story is told (likely not true) of a young man who came to Socrates desiring knowledge. Cryptically, the master’s only response was to invite the young man down to the river. Once there, he further invited the man to wade out to the middle of the stream, where the water came pretty high on them. Once there, Socrates seized the man by the head and held him under, nearly drowning him before finally letting him go!

When asked why he had done such a thing, Socrates proclaimed that the young man came idly seeking knowledge, but that Socrates could teach nothing until the man was desperate for it, as desperate as he had been for air when smothered in the river.

There are things that I am very passionate about in life, which I love to talk about at length with others. But whether I actually do so depends on if the person seems to really care, or is just making idle chit-chat.

“So, what do you do for fun?”

“Oh, I just like writing some stories and stuff.”

Socrates and I wished to safeguard that which was important to us, reserving it only for the sincere. Similarly, Jesus cautioned his followers not to throw their pearls before swine, as it deeply hurts when sacred things are treated with irreverence.

God safeguards His greatest treasures as well. Many may walk through the doors of the chapel to seek Him, but He will remain hidden until most of them grow weary two weeks later and leave. And once the last of the insincere disappear, then He will step out from behind the curtain and let the remaining few find Him. Remember that God wasn’t going to do miracles with Gideon’s army until he had filtered it down to the core faithful (Judges 7).

These are sacred things, and they deserve the utmost respect. If you don’t feel that your soul craves the word of God like your body craves air, if you aren’t dedicating yourself to Him for the long haul, if you aren’t ready to be serious about your faith…then there are just going to be things that do not yet receive, plain and simple.

Posted on by Abe Austin

What Sort of Disciple Are You? -Question

Whichever belief system you subscribe to, are you a good one? Do you believe in it wholeheartedly? In my youthful years I was convinced that I was as devout a disciple as there could be! Later I came to appreciate how little I really knew in my heart. This moment of self-doubt led me to explore my faith, and I would say that as I result I am a stronger disciple now than when I was young…though also far more tempered in how I describe that spiritual strength.

Of course there are also those that think they are weak in their faith, but when tested are surprised at how well it holds. Also there are those that are a disciple in name only, openly admitting that they don’t really follow the teachings they have been given.

Honest self-appraisal is the first step towards changing oneself, and no matter how positive or negative the outcome of that appraisal, one is progressing just by having done it. So long as one remains deluded about the convictions of their own soul, there is nothing for them to do. With this study I’d like to consider how we can take an honest inventory of ourselves, and work on what we find.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you about the development of your own spiritual maturity. What dramatic shifts have you had in your perceptions of your faith-commitment? What events caused you to see yourself more clearly? How did that awareness enable to you to reach for something more?

Posted on by Abe Austin

The Need for Refreshing- Isaiah 53:6, Deuteronomy 6:6, 8-9, 2 Peter 1:12 (NLT)

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

Therefore, I will always remind you about these things—even though you already know them and are standing firm in the truth you have been taught.

COMMENTARY

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way
I do believe that when most of us make a commitment, we really do intend to hold fast to it. People do not get married intending for it to end in divorce, or sign a contract intending to breach it, or enter baptism intending to return to their old sins. And yet they do. All the time. We are a wayward flock and always have been.
There is a very simple reason for this behavior. We are temporal beings constrained by time. Though we have the memory of the past and the hope of the future, we can only ever live in the present. Memories and hopes can influence us, but the immediacy of now will often drown them out. Thus we may have felt very strongly back when we made marriage vows, signed contracts, and entered baptism; but the weight of those moments do not last forever. Our every vow comes with an expiration date.
If you have noticed this tendency to wander, know that it is not a failing in you as an individual. It is a universal, and unavoidable, failing of the entire human race. We may not forget what we have promised, but we do forget the feelings we held when we made them.

And these word shall be bound for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house.
Therefore, I will always remind you about these things
God is well aware of this forgetful nature in us, and as such has always taught his people to regularly refresh their vows. He instructed the Israelites to bind the words of the laws on their hands, in little boxes on their foreheads, and on the posts of their doors. He had them do this so that they would see constant reminders of what they had been called to. The disciples of Jesus were given the Sacrament, and told to come together oft to repeat that commitment ceremony.
Yes, our hearts stray, but we can choose every day to recommit them. Yes, our vows come with expiration dates, but we can extend them with new ones. When I keep the commandments today, it is not because of a commitment I made once years ago, it is because of the one I made last Sunday when I partook of the sacrament, and this morning when I said my prayers. We are a forgetful race, but we can remind ourselves.

Posted on by Abe Austin

That They Might Have Joy- Personal Example #1

One of the motivations for this study was that I have been feeling an increase of joy over the past year and wanted to examine the reasons why. As I’ve considered the matter I have identified three basic reasons. Today I’ll discuss the first.

My discipleship is in the best place it has ever been. A little over two years ago I decided to really try to be my best self. All my life I was raised in a religious environment, and I definitely “wanted” good things for myself and the world…but if you had asked me what I did to actively promote that goodness I wouldn’t have had much to say. That I just wished for goodness, maybe? Suffice it to say that I was a very passive follower of Jesus.

After some dramatic life events I knew it was time to take my faith seriously and finally listen to all of the things that my conscience was trying to say. I didn’t want to try and make one little change here or there, I felt a need to let the light of Christ pervade my entire life.

So I started exercising, I brought better focus to my work, I started meeting with a therapist, I made a habit of studying the scriptures with real intent, I decided to put my phone away and really be there for my wife and son. Most recently I’ve added reaching out to my brothers and sisters and nurturing a forgiving heart to the list.

Now I have a long way to go before I’m perfect in any of these practices. Several of them have been on-again/off-again, but I am making a point to not lapse back into complacency. I try, I waver, I recommit. And in that imperfect trying I already feel so much more awakened, so much more like I am living the way I was intended to live. It just feels so right.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Service to Others- Personal Example #2

My commitment yesterday was to try and reach out to that couple in my neighborhood again. I was glad that I made the commitment, because without it I don’t think I would have followed through. There was no great obstacle, mind you, just the general apathy that keeps me at home most days.

Things actually went almost exactly as before. That couple I was trying to reach wasn’t home again, so this time I left the plate of cookies on their doorstep with a quick note. Just something that said I was thinking of them and hoped they were well.

I had prepared two plates of cookies that night, though, and also made a visit to another couple that recently moved into our community. They were home and invited me in to sit down and chat with them for a half hour. It was a really nice talk, and I left feeling blessed from the interaction. I hope they did, too.

These have been fun experiences, and I like that they’re so sustainable. I could easily do a visit like this every week. I could also change it up, and perhaps instead of bringing cookies simply ask “Hey, our family is really hoping to help yours out for the next half hour. Could you give us some little task that we can take care of for you?” It’s certainly a bit unusual, but who is going to feel anything but positivity from that?

So I find myself wondering why has this been so difficult? I never doubted that it would be a positive experience, and yet I just didn’t want to do it. As I’ve thought about why that is I’ve been able to glean a few insights about myself. Truths about me that I think many others will be able to relate to as well. Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you all about them.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Service to Others- Personal Example #1

One week ago I had an experience which was the catalyst for this whole study session. I had been thinking for a while about a couple in our neighborhood, and how I ought to bring them some cookies and ask how they’re doing. I always found reasons to put it off until later, but finally last Monday I decided “no, today I’m doing it.”

So I made the treat, packed my son in his push-car, and walked over to their house. They weren’t home, which was a bit disappointing, but after having finally committed to doing something good I decided that this moment couldn’t end in failure. My son and I looked for someone else to deliver the cookies to.

Three homes later we finally found a person at home. We had a brief, but nice chat, and left the cookies with him. I have no idea if he felt touched by the gesture or not, but I felt content in my heart.

That contentment stood out to me a good deal. In fact I noticed that my resolve to bring a treat to the initial couple almost entirely deflated. I still feel just as strongly that I should, but I don’t feel very motivated for it. As I did some introspection, it seems that I have two motivations for doing service to others. One is because someone I see someone specific that I think needs a kind act, and the other is because I generally need to do service to feel complete.

And so with my little excursion last week I satiated the general need, but not the specific one. For whatever reason, it is that general need that comes on more strongly for me, and without it I have difficulty in acting. I guess I just happen to have a stronger love for all mankind in general than for any random stranger.

That’s not an ideal way to be, but having recognized this weakness I accept that it is real, and I resolve to improve on it. And to that end, I am committing to try and reach out to that married couple again tonight. Because even if I do not yet feel strongly motivated, I can do it anyhow and so exercise my weaker spiritual muscles. I’ll report tomorrow how things go.