Posted on by Abe Austin

Party of One

If I seek a place where I feel content with everyone else, I will end up in a room alone

There are all manner of groups and organizations that start with the most positive of feelings, but which degrade and fall apart because its members find that given enough time and experience, they really don’t like each other at all! Varying perspectives become dividing mantras. Minor inconveniences become insurmountable obstacles. Gentle teasing becomes inexcusable offense.

And then a line is drawn in the sand, the party splits apart, and often each side tries to build a new version of the group, the way it was always “supposed” to be, but usually that new “utopia” collapses just as surely as the first.

Sooner or later, we must face the fact that we can never make the group that only has people we get along with. We can only make ourselves get along with the people that are in the group.

Let’s look at this another way. Consider if the following statement is true: Even if at times you’ve rubbed some people the wrong way, or said things at another’s expense, or championed principles that you later learned were false, you can still be forgiven of all these things and by God’s grace be redeemed to live in paradise. Is that statement true?

Well, if it is true for you, then it logically follows that it is also true for any person who has rubbed YOU the wrong way, or has said things at YOUR expense, or has disagreed with YOU for their false principles. This person can also be forgiven and receive God’s grace and be redeemed to live in paradise. Like the prodigal son’s brother, we are all going to see our Father welcome people that hurt or annoyed us into His kingdom, so if we want to live there, too, sooner or later we’re going to have to let those things go.

You can learn to get along or learn to be alone. What you can’t do is cut off anyone who upsets you and still be part of a community. Unity with others must come from within, and it must be unity with all.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Do I Even Have an Addiction? -Part Four

Putting Evil in the World)

I’ve spent the last few posts speaking to those who recognize that part of their life is amiss, but who are reluctant to call their behavior an addiction. I’ve made the case that all of us need to strive for shameless authenticity, own our failings and admit where we need help.

I have also made the case that everyone is fundamentally flawed in one way or another. That is a claim that we immediately agree to when we hear it, but rarely do we consider the real weight of what those words mean. They mean we are going to hurt ourselves and also those around us. They mean that we are going to deny our better nature and live beneath our potential. They mean that we are going to actively put some evil out into the world.

Most of us are naturally flippant towards any serious accusation levied against us. Even if we agree that the complaint is valid, we’ll shrug our shoulders, say “no one’s perfect,” and quickly move past the issue. We don’t face the very real damage that is being done. We’re all genuinely screwing the world up around us, hurting each other in real and terrible ways, and virtually none of us own this fact. We just smile, shrug, say “no one’s perfect,” and keep our hearts sealed off.

Are you willing to start taking ownership for the evil you put into the world? Are you willing to face it with eyes wide open? Are you willing to hear the complaint of those that have been hurt without trying to justify or minimize your actions?

If your answer to the above is either “yes,” or even just “I want to be able to do that,” then you are ready to belong to the community of the awakened and striving.

A Community of Striving)

That community of the awakened and striving exists all throughout the world, intermingled with every culture and society. Its members live in broader organization, but often identify one another and coalesce together. Inside the churches is the subgroup of those who are truly faithful. Inside the non-profit charities is the coalition of those who are sincerely serving. Inside the government institution is the cabal of those who are genuinely trying to improve the world.

One place I have found where these awakened souls congregate is in the twelve-step programs scattered across the world. These communities are full of men and women who are willing to face the reality of the evil they are putting into the world and are seeking the help of a Higher Power to stop doing so. They come into this way of thinking because of their addictions, but then expand it to address all other forms of evil in their lives as well.

I have seen people drag their feet at the door to a twelve-step program because they weren’t sure whether their problems qualified as a full-on addiction or not. But we in the group aren’t going to be checking your “addiction credentials” at the door. There is no “group police” who are going to kick you out because you aren’t messed enough to be here. All that we ask is that you are sincere about facing your flaws and obtaining a life that is sober from your negative impulses. If you’re willing to do that work, then you are ready to join the crew.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Give Thanks- Explanation

During the week of Thanksgiving I took an invitation from President Russell M. Nelson to give daily expressions of gratitude on social media using the hashtag “givethanks.”

I didn’t take the invitation right away, though. To be honest I was skeptical when I first heard about it. I was worried that the whole thing would be artificial and sappy. I didn’t want to do something that would feel contrived or insincere.

Which I think revealed a cynicism in me, and was an indicator that I really did need something sweet and enriching. As it turned out, seeing everyone else’s posts as part of that campaign created a wonderful sense of community in me. I came to greatly appreciate scrolling down my Facebook feed each day to see what my family and friends were sharing gratitude for. It felt like an advent calendar, where each day was its own happy, little bundle.

And I’m grateful for the discoveries that came to me when I eventually decided to participate. As I came to the end of my week of gratitude I decided I wanted to share those realizations with you, and I will be doing that over the several days.

I’d also be curious to hear what things you have found to be grateful for at the end of our turbulent year. Did you feel sheltered from the worst of the afflictions? Or did you build new strength by being full in the face of adversity? Or maybe you’re still unsure what God’s plan in all this has been for you. Even if that’s the case, what else is there that you will always have gratitude for?

Posted on by Abe Austin

The Family of God- Question

The study I have just concluded, one based on the need to serve to one another, suggested a new topic to me. In that research it seemed evident that we are designed to be social. Our hearts yearn for a sense of community, to regard one another as brothers and sisters, and to support each other on a shared adventure.

The scriptures definitely support this idea of us all being members of one family under God, and the way of the hermit is not what our nature was designed for. Given that, I would like to study what the ties that bind us together are, how they are strengthened, and what blessings can only be obtained as a group.

Obviously some of us are supremely lonely. And sometimes we are by necessity, such as when our belief in God puts us at opposition to those around us. But even then we still believe in communion with God and angels, a group of believers that extends beyond the veil to support us. I’d like to explore this aspect of the gospel as well.

In the meantime, I’d be curious to hear what community of discipleship you’ve been able to build up around you. Aside from local church groups, how do you setup a network of faith to rely on? What ways have those communities lifted you to more than you could have ever accomplished on your own?