Posted on by Abe Austin

Scriptural Analysis- Exodus 28:22-25

22 And thou shalt make upon the breastplate chains at the ends of wreathen work of pure gold.

23 And thou shalt make upon the breastplate two rings of gold, and shalt put the two rings on the two ends of the breastplate.

24 And thou shalt put the two wreathen chains of gold in the two rings which are on the ends of the breastplate.

25 And the other two ends of the two wreathen chains thou shalt fasten in the two ouches, and put them on the shoulderpieces of the ephod before it.

The breastplate would hang from two golden chains, one on each side. The other ends of the chains would be secured to the two shoulder pieces that the onyx stones were held in. Yesterday I spoke of the broad sense of duty that the priest had for each of the twelve tribes (represented by the onyx stones on the shoulders), in addition to the specific love that would be required for each one (represented by the individual stones on the breastplate).

In today’s verses, those two concepts are literally linked together. The love and the duty are fastened together. The duty is borne because of the love, and the love is borne out in the performance of the duty.

Posted on by Abe Austin

The Limit to God in Our Lives

What we know of the Lord, and how deep our connection goes with Him, is limited only by our willingness to accept each new commitment He offers us.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Lost Opportunities

Every day comes only once.
Being distracted from our loved ones for today means giving up the only “this day” with them that we have.
And even a single day lost is a terrible cost. We have 40,000 days or less for our entire life. 7,000 days for our child’s entire childhood. 365 days for our child being at each particular age. These moments are dear, and when they are gone they are gone forever. They must not be given away cheaply.
Posted on by Abe Austin · 1 Comment

Thought for the Day-Seeking Connection












Seeking attention

Is but a shallow substitute

For seeking connection

Posted on by Abe Austin

Scriptural Analysis- Genesis 2:18-20

18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

I have an “anxious attachment style,” which means that I am afraid of abandonment, frequently seek reassurance that I am loved, and stress out when I am left by myself for too long. Therefore statements like “it is not good that the man should be alone” ring very true to me!

Now I have been learning how to take those insecurities to God instead of other people, as He is the only one that can answer them in the deepest parts of my heart. He is able to bring me to a place of grounded authenticity that no one else can. But even when I am in that authentic place, I do still feel that need for human connection, for a companion, for an equal partner, for a complement to my mind and heart. Between the extreme of “anxious attachment” and the other extreme of “avoidant attachment” there is that happy middle ground of “secure attachment” which all of us need to fully thrive.

And as wonderful as animals are, they cannot meet that need. Perhaps they can relate to us in what it means to be a living thing, but not in what it means to be human. We were crafted to need other people, to need friends, and to need a soulmate.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Calloused Hearts- Summary

Lately the winter months have been difficult for me. Maybe they always were and I just didn’t pick up on it until now. In any case, I have noticed a distinct apathy that comes over my heart at this time, a tendency to isolate, and a desire to pull back into emotional hibernation.
It was from this context that I began this study. Seeking both to understand why people come into these spiritually apathetic seasons and if there is anything we can do when caught in them.
The scriptures speak a great deal about peace within a storm, but I wanted to find accounts of fire within a stifling numbness! I did find a few insights that encourage me, but I should mention that this is definitely still a work in progress for me. Here are a few of the guiding principles that I have learned and which will be guiding me on my way forward.

Removing Our Own Burdens

Many times our distance from God is self-inflicted. And it doesn’t only have to be sin that keeps Him at arm’s length from us. Yes the soul that is burdened with unrepented vice will struggle to feel His love, but also the soul that is just complacent and lazy.
Our relationship to God is an actual relationship. It requires communication, it requires prioritization, it requires making sacrifices. Like every other healthy relationship, this one takes time and effort. It is hard. In fact it is more difficult due to how our connection to God can only be built on sacred ground, there is little of significance that He can say to our mask. He does not require us to be perfect to feel His light, but He does require us to be genuine and sincere.
And that is, perhaps, the greatest obstacle for me when I wish the spirit was more alive in my heart. It just doesn’t work if I am casual in my discipleship, if I offer a prayer with half my mind and none of my heart, if I’m not actively trying to be my truest self. God is not absent, He is already waiting in the deepest recesses of my soul, I just need to find my way back to there.
Enos 1:4-5- And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.
And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.
3 Nephi 9:20- And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost, even as the Lamanites, because of their faith in me at the time of their conversion, were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not.

Testing Our Capacity

Reaching that place of authenticity is difficult, but more difficult is to remain there. When we are caught up in a rapture it might be hard to imagine ever feeling spiritually apathetic again. But if in this spiritual awakenings eventually give way to spiritual sleep. I would like nothing more than to be convinced that endless rapture is possible to obtain during our mortal walk…but right now I doubt it.
Consider the feeling of wellness and purification one feels after a good workout. The blood flows freely through the veins, the heart pumps happily, the mind is fresh and alert, and all we would like is to remain in this physical state forever. But we don’t. Without constant physical stimulation our body reclines into a state of needed rest.
And initially this is a good thing. Both our bodies and our souls need to be stimulated and exercised, but then they also need a period to settle, to let the long-term benefits work their way in deep. The problem arises when rest and rejuvenation is not then followed up with stimulation again. If left too long, relaxation just becomes laziness.
We do not have to be in a constant state of rapture, just as we do not have to constantly exercise. But if we will pursue spiritual experiences and exercise as a regular habit, then comes an overall improvement of spiritual and physical life. We will be more awakened, even when in a state of repose. And we will become able to push even deeper and deeper into spiritual and physical health.
Matthew 15:32, 37- Then Jesus called his disciples unto him, and said, I have compassion on the multitude, because they continue with me now three days, and have nothing to eat: and I will not send them away fasting, lest they faint in the way.
And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets full.
John 10:10- The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Relying on Grace

It is only natural that our own betterment depends on our own effort. This system is good for us, it promotes agency and independence, it motivates to work through the hard to get to the better.
But we can become obsessed with trying to do it all on our own. We can hold ourselves to impossible standards, we can get frustrated at our inability to reach the unreachable, we can become stuck because we aren’t accepting help.
And in this matter of bringing our hearts back to life we need to realize that all our efforts really do is invite the awakening of our souls. They do not enact the actual awakening. The awakening happens as a miracle, it is performed only by God.
And in my experience, once I permit Him to do so, God instigates the awakening of my heart far sooner than I expected and far more fully, too. Once I stop getting in His way I discover that He truly is gracious and liberal with His love.
Ezekiel 36:26- A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
Mark 9:23-24- Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.
Ephesians 2:4-5- But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Calloused Hearts- Enos 1:2-5

And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God, before I received a remission of my sins.
Behold, I went to hunt beasts in the forests; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into my heart.
And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.
And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.

COMMENTARY

And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God
My soul hungered
I cried unto him in mighty prayer
All the day long did I cry unto him
I did raise my voice high that it reached the heavens
Look at what powerful earnestness is in these verses from Enos. Look at how much he wanted this absolution from sin. Look at how long he worked before finding the voice of the Lord.
And he put in this much effort because that was how much effort it took. He didn’t put in only an hour, because he hadn’t found God yet after an hour. And he didn’t call it quits after a half day, because he hadn’t found God in half a day. He kept with it until he found his way through. And I am inclined to believe that God was not simply waiting for some arbitrary amount of time to elapse before reaching out, but rather He was simply waiting on Enos to be ready to receive Him. God spoke after a day because after a day Enos was in the right place.
So, too, when my own heart feels covered in moss and disconnected from God. If I want that connection restored I have to ask myself whether I am willing to pursue that connection for as far as it has to be pursued. Am I willing to ask for what I need to ask? Am I willing to give up what I need to give up? Am I willing to become what I need to become? And if the answers to any of those is “not yet,” then am I willing to keep wrestling with it until I am willing?

Posted on by Abe Austin

Calloused Hearts- 1 Kings 19:11-13

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:
And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.
And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?

COMMENTARY

And the Lord passed by, and a great wind rent the mountains; but the Lord was not in the wind
And after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake
And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire
The Lord was somewhere around Elijah, passing by, but He could not be perceived. There were other loud and impressive forces going on at the same time, which were magnificent in their own way, but the Lord just wasn’t to be found in them.
Sometimes there is too much loudness in my own life to perceive God as well. I become bored in quiet moments and look for a song or a video or a notification to keep me stimulated. And maybe I will be able to find something loud, impressive, and even magnificent there…but I won’t be able to find God.

And after the fire a still small voice
God is always about us, but it is very, very rare that He uses His voice of thunder. Instead, if we want to hear Him, we will have to be very quiet and still.
I believe He speaks so softly because He does not want to be heard by just a part of us. He wants to be heard in the heart so that we are likely to heed Him. He wants us to fully be ourselves, with no other baggage to get in the way. So He will wait until we come fully into our own hearts and are our most authentic self, and then we will find Him.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Calloused Hearts- John 10:10

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

COMMENTARY

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy
Once we dwelled with a direct connection to God, now being apart from Him feels like being spiritually catatonic. It is a debilitating condition, one that many of us misdiagnose and then chase all manner of false remedies to try and fix.
These remedies are like the thieves described in this verse, come to sink us even lower than we were before. Some of them promise artificial sustenance through addictions, others promise release through numbness to the pain. Both of these paths deaden our soul more than it already was. They distract us by over-stimulation or by silencing of the senses, all while leaving the spirit entirely dissatisfied.

I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly
What we really need is to recognize that our souls just aren’t designed to live without a connection to our Maker. We simply cannot thrive without Him, it isn’t possible.
Man did not breathe until God put it into his nostrils to do so, and the soul does not thrive until God has been allowed to stoke a fire within it.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Calloused Hearts- Personal Example

I once went to a spiritual retreat in the mountains. There were sermons shared, a great deal of prayer, and time alone to walk in nature. It was a wonderful, spiritual experience. Throughout all the first day I felt my heart opening up and connecting to God. Away from the distractions of the world I could really hear God clearly. We had a more direct communication than I was used to, and I properly understood where I was in life, what was holding me back, and what God would like me to do to advance further.

But when I woke up on the second day of the retreat I found a strange numbness had come over me. I attended the first sermons of the day and struggled to be fully present with them. By the time I hit the second or third lecture the messages had rubbed away my emotional walls and I started to feel spiritually awake again. I had another positive experience throughout the rest of the day.

The third morning the coating of numbness was even thicker. I really wanted to engage with the spirit but it felt like many layers had grown on my heart overnight. The exposure to God, while wonderful, had been tenderizing. There had been a great deal of emotion and my heart had felt more raw and exposed than it was accustomed to. Just like how skin rubbed raw will begin to blister and callous to protect the tender flesh, my heart was toughening itself against further feeling.

This time I only half coaxed my heart back out of its shell. It had reached its saturation point and needed to rest.

Overall the retreat was still a very positive experience. I felt inspired to make some long-term changes to my life and I continue to carry the benefits of that to this day, three years later. I also left with an important lesson about my heart, though. It had an emotional capacity, a threshold for what it was willing to feel. And just like any other muscle, the heart has to be exercised to increase that capacity. I needed more experiences like this retreat to acclimate it to prolonged deep feelings.