Posted on by Abe Austin

Encouraging vs Demoralizing

Part of parenting is inviting our kids to become better, to challenge them beyond their limits so that they grow and know that they can grow. At the same time, we also need to be careful that we don’t put unrealistic or ill-fitting expectations on them that can breed resentment or demoralize them. It’s a fine line to walk, and worth considering how it can be managed. In fact, it is worth considering how God, Himself, manages to walk it with us so that we can learn from His example.

As I’ve pondered these questions, the answer that has come to mind is that it all comes down to how well one knows their child. Not how well they know who they wish their child was, but how well they know who the child actually is. God is so good at getting the best out of us because His knowledge of us runs straight to our core. He even states that, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee,” (Jeremiah 1:5). He has a perfect understanding of our trajectory and can run through it to a point that lays naturally ahead of us, saying “this is who you were born to become.”

The mistake that too many earthly parents make is that we already have our child’s trajectory determined in our hearts before we even met them. We have chosen an arbitrary point of our own making, and we still require the child to meet it.

Put another way, whereas God holds up a vision of the child as his genuine best self, we too often hold up a vision of a made-up person that the child is not aligned with and will only hurt himself in trying to become. This latter approach sends a message of, “this is who you are not, and that’s a problem.”

Since God already holds the perfect perspective of each child’s natural trajectory and potential, we can never come to better vision for our child than His. Our ability to lead our child correctly will be entirely based on our own alignment with God. It will be by standing in the place where He is that we will have the proper perspective to see how to make our children flourish and not be discouraged.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Scriptural Analysis- Exodus 5:4-9

4 And the king of Egypt said unto them, Wherefore do ye, Moses and Aaron, let the people from their works? get you unto your burdens.

5 And Pharaoh said, Behold, the people of the land now are many, and ye make them rest from their burdens.

6 And Pharaoh commanded the same day the taskmasters of the people, and their officers, saying,

7 Ye shall no more give the people straw to make brick, as heretofore: let them go and gather straw for themselves.

8 And the tale of the bricks, which they did make heretofore, ye shall lay upon them; ye shall not diminish ought thereof: for they be idle; therefore they cry, saying, Let us go and sacrifice to our God.

9 Let there more work be laid upon the men, that they may labour therein; and let them not regard vain words.

Pharaoh’s second response was much more vicious than the first. In verse 4 he shows great indignation, essentially questioning what right Moses and Aaron had to even be here and he attempted to emphatically put them back in their place as mere slaves: “get you unto your burdens!”

But Pharaoh didn’t stop there. He called them idle, accusing them of having an excess of time since they were requesting to use that time to make sacrifices to their God. Thus, he took their labor of making bricks and significantly increased its difficulty. Straw was an essential ingredient for creating bricks, serving as the lattice that held the clay together, enabling it to hold it’s shape as it dried into a brick. Making bricks without straw simply wasn’t an option, so the Israelites would have to take the time to get it themselves.

Pharaoh’s words in verse 9 seem to be directed more to the general Israelite populace than to Moses and Aaron: “let them not regard vain words.” Clearly, he is trying to get the slaves to renounce Moses and Aaron as their representatives. He wants the Israelites themselves to censure the voices that would seek their freedom. If the Pharaoh had been able to get what he wanted from the people, it would have shown that they were absolutely demoralized, biting the very hand that offered them freedom, and thus becoming their own chains. And is this indeed how the Israelites responded? We will soon find out.