Posted on by Abe Austin

Hatred or Love of Self

Over the past few decades, deaths of despair have climbed steadily in the United States. We seem to be a culture progressing into deeper and broader levels of hopelessness and personal anguish.

Many have pointed out how more and more people seem to hold an intense self-hatred also, the most likely cause of these increasing deaths. Naturally, it is assumed that the cure would be more self-love. More self-affirmation. More “me time.” But this assumes that self-hatred and self-love are mutually exclusive, and that they cannot exist in the same body.

In my experience, that assumption could not be further from the truth. Indeed, I have seen in my own life how the times of overabundant “self-love” have fueled the self-hatred that followed. Urging people to pursue more self-love might be like seeing someone who is drowning and bringing them a helpful glass of water.

In my experience, love is the cure to despair, but not self-love, divine love. I don’t need to find myself, I need to find Him. I don’t need to give myself what I want, I need to give myself what He wants for me. The true self-love that actually drives out self-hatred is only found in the love that we cultivate with our Creator.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Trending Towards Death

It is a terrible thing to be faithless, nihilistic, cynical, and depressed. There are many that find themselves in a state where effort seems ineffectual, the future appears bleak, and life itself feels meaningless. Too long in such a state can be a very dangerous thing, as the broken person may begin to consider ways to expedite the end of their miserable existence. Even if not, though, they will continue forward in a sort of waking death, unmotivated to do any of the things worth living for, isolating and numbing, and just letting themselves go. They may reach a “natural end,” but one that was premature and avoidable.

On the other hand, though, one might love life to the point of debauchery. They might become carnal, sensual, eagerly pursuing every pleasant, vibrant experience, trying to live as full and varied a life as possible. But gross hedonism is just as tended towards death as depression. Promiscuous sexuality, drunkenness, risk-taking, late-night parties, and gluttony do not prolong life, rather they burn it out faster, resulting in either an accidental death, or once again, a demise that might be considered natural, though premature and avoidable.

The soul cleaved from its purpose becomes depressed and gravitates towards death, but also the soul that makes its purpose the pleasures of life also gravitates to death. Survival itself is contingent upon finding the true life worth living, and committing ourselves wholeheartedly to it.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Peace in the Storm- 1 Nephi 8:10-11, 21-24

And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.
And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen.
And I saw numberless concourses of people, many of whom were pressing forward, that they might obtain the path which led unto the tree by which I stood.
And it came to pass that they did come forth, and commence in the path which led to the tree.
And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost.
And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.

COMMENTARY

And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness, insomuch that they did lose their way and were lost.
Storms in nature can be frightening due to the immediate threats of lightning, flooding, and windswept debris. However there is another danger in them, that of pervasive darkness. This blinding can make us lose our bearings and become hopelessly lost. Each one of us experiences these blinding mists in our spiritual lives as well.
And I do mean each of us. Dark clouds are not reserved for the faithless, they fall upon disciples as well. Even if we accept God’s laws we can still struggle with vices; temptations that constantly pull at us, even though we truly want to be good.
Even if we have the hope of Christ in us we can still be overwhelmed by depression; thrust into fear and despair, even though we only want to live in joy.
Even if we fervently believe in God’s goodness we can still wrestle with doubts; moments where we question that the unseen can really be true, even though we only want to remain faithful.
Even Mother Teresa divulged that for a period of fifty years she suffered a feeling of withdrawal from God. She believed in him fiercely, but still the clouds of doubt and depression fell about her.

And caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and did press forward through the mist of darkness, until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.
First, one should not be ashamed that the darkness which falls on all has fallen on them, too. After that, one should realize that pressing forward in the dark is progress…even when it does not feel like it. So long as we continue pushing forward, we are nearing our goal. And so when we do at last burst out of that darkness, the light of God’s presence will be far closer than we ever saw it before.