Respect in Our Differences- Luke 11:17

But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a house falleth

COMMENTARY

A house divided against a house falleth
Yesterday I told about a positive experience I had when another Christian and I shared our different beliefs, but it would be dishonest of me to pretend that all of my interactions with other Christians have been so positive. During my mission I would meet missionaries from other sects, who sometimes would approach me and challenge my beliefs. I would answer them defensively, and then I would try to point out flaws in their own beliefs. I was never gracious enough to just let the challenge go.
While these moment left me flushed with an intoxicating adrenaline, they absolutely did not make me feel closer to my Savior. I did not feel that I had nobly defended the truth against an enemy, I felt that I had dirtied myself in a petty squabble. A squabble with one who ought to be my friend.
It was infighting among the ranks of fellow Christians, and our line was weaker against the assaults of Satan because of it. The more we fight with each other, the more we do the adversary’s work for him. Are we then truly Christian? As Christ, himself, warned: a house divided against itself cannot stand.

Respect in Our Differences- Luke 9:49-50

And John answered and said, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name; and we forbad him, because he followeth not with us.
And Jesus said unto him, Forbid him not: for he that is not against us is for us.

COMMENTARY

And John answered and said, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name
And Jesus said unto him, Forbid him not: for he that is not against us is for us
During my mission I met a Christian of another sect. We had a brief conversation, and each of us expressed a curiosity to know how the other had come to follow the sect that they belonged to. We each shared our conversion experience, how we had felt God manifest to us the right path to follow. We congratulated one another on their discovery, and parted amicably.
And in the end, both of us still believed in the rightness of our own path. It is extremely easy for us to jump to the conclusion “if God told me to follow this path, then no other path can truly be following Him.” This line of thought leads one to judge others as foolish or deceived by evil.
For a moment, let us suppose that your particular niche of faith, whatever it might be, is the single, penultimate truth that God wishes for all of us to follow. Under this scenario, then yes, the variations in my belief would be detrimental, and they would be limiting me from my full potential. And yes, you would be well-justified in inviting me to a higher truth.
But that would not be the same as saying that I am against you. Because in the end, I am still trying to cast out devils. I am fighting against the forces of violence, lust, greed, and selfishness. And I am doing this in the name of Jesus Christ. I attest that he is the only one with power to defeat these evils and reclaim our souls.
Therefore, even if you think I am somewhat misaligned, Jesus has affirmed that I am misaligned in his general direction. He has recognized that I am for him. And even if I think you are a little misaligned, I do also appreciate that you are for him, too.

Respect in Our Differences- Personal Example

I disagree with you, but that’s okay. Is this something that we can respectfully look one another in the eye and say? So often in this world to disagree with another is to hate them. To hold a different opinion is a an irredeemable crime, it makes one a mortal enemy.

Absolutely I feel that we should evangelize for what we believe in, and should try to share what truths we have gained with those that are receptive to them. But some people will not wish to share in them, and the test is whether we can accept that graciously.

Without a doubt, each of us know people who we feel are unequivocally in the wrong. Or at the very least, are more wrong than us! Can we maintain that they are wrong, but also still a worthy person?

I have a friend who is an atheist. We spoke about religion a few times, and I am pleased to say it was always respectful from both sides. Each of us was genuinely curious to just understand one another better without judgment. In the end, my friend still thinks that I am naïve, and I think that he is cynical. We therefore see fundamental flaws in one another. I think that he is wrong, he thinks that I am wrong… And yet we still think that one another is a good friend.

Would it be nice if my friend became a believer? Of course. I honestly feel it would be a source of great joy to him. But for now it is not necessary for him to agree with me, only that he and I do the disagreeing respectfully.

Respect in Our Differences- Ephesians 4:5, Proverbs 21:2

One Lord, one faith, one baptism

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts

COMMENTARY

One Lord, one faith, one baptism
Our different religions agree on many things. Universally we find teachings of being kind to one another, of caring for our souls, of seeking out principles of truth. Eventually, though, there is always a difference. If there wasn’t, we would all be the same religion.
In my case I am a Christian, and what distinctly sets my faith apart is that I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and the only means by which we may return to God’s presence.
But of course, even umbrella faiths like Christianity are even further subdivided. So more specifically, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and one element that sets my faith further apart is that I believe my spirit was premortally created by God, with the intention that I postmortally become a divinity like Him.
And so when I read in Ephesians that there is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, this is what I believe it to be referring to.

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts
But of course, I know that a Catholic would disagree with me. As well as a Protestant and Methodist and Jew and Muslim and Hindu and Atheist. As convinced as I feel of what the “one truth” is, I accept that others are so convinced of their “one truth,” too.
I will even concede that I am fallible. I will admit that my beliefs were originally taken on authority, handed down to me by family and culture, and therefore subject to strong bias. A few of those beliefs I am still taking on authority, because I have not yet developed a personal conviction of them.
So yes, there are shortcomings in my belief, but fallibility and bias are inherent in everyone else’s belief as well. Yet each of us do still believe that we believe rightly. I do so, because of the spiritual awakenings I have had as a result of following this path. I have had moments of God confirming many of these truths to me. Certain commandments and teachings I feel very strongly connected to. I am certain that I am God’s son and that He loves me. I am certain I have a Savior who knows my personal pain, and lifts me to a better state. I am certain that the Bible and the Book of Mormon contain the word of God.
If you don’t believe what I believe, I certainly understand why not, and I do not blame you for it. I surely disagree with some of your beliefs, too, but do so without any hostility. I maintain deepest respect for all sincerely-held beliefs.

Respect in Our Differences- Question

When one encounters a life-changing good, one wants to share it with others. My desire to write this very blog was a result of a spiritual awakening that began for me a couple of years ago. Advocating for one’s beliefs, though, eventually one will come face-to-face with differing opinions.

Some of those opinions one can reject outright. They are self-defeating ideologies, ones that are based upon logical fallacies. But some of them are very sincere, and held by individuals who have had spiritual awakenings just as profound as your own. In a moment such as this, you must decide whether you are going to respect the similarities, or be repulsed by the differences. In my experience, respect is the far more gratifying path.

This world seems to struggle with that notion, though. Saying that I respect someone that I disagree with, is construed as meaning that I wholeheartedly agree with them. We have lost the ability to have different opinions, and still think the world of one another.

With this study I would like to examine how we can maintain our convictions, while also showing respect to others. I will also consider why it is important to hold to our differences, and not just try to blend every belief system into one. Along the way we will examine how Jesus treated those of different faiths, such as the people of Samaria.

In the meantime, I would love to hear about your own experiences reconciling spiritual differences with friends and family. Have you ever found it a struggle to not get emotionally involved in the differences? What has helped you to be able to focus on the good in everyone? Has it ever challenged you to meet a member of a different faith who adhered to your own commandments better than you do?

Evolving Your Beliefs- Personal Example

On my mission I served in the country of Guyana, where I observed people with a far different culture than the one I had been raised with. I was able to clearly see how the principles that I was living compared to the ones that these people were. To say that either my culture or theirs was “better” than the other would be a gross oversimplification. They were different. There were some trends among the Guyanese that I thought were better, and some from America that I thought were better.

One area where I felt the Guyanese traditions were more in touch with Christ’s teachings was in treating everyone like a neighbor. When I came back to my own country, it stood out in stark contrast how few people met my eye and gave me a “good morning” as I walked down the street.

Another gap as wide as two cultures is that from one generation to another. Spend an evening surrounded by people 20 years older or younger than you, and it’ll feel like you’ve visited a new country! And while each generation usually claims that their way is better, once again this is an oversimplification.

Just from my own perspective, I believe that my generation has done better with seeing the inherent worth in everyone, and in maintaining love for the sinner. On the other hand, the prior generation is better at dividing good from evil, and they know that commandments are not just suggestions!

But what about two people from the same demographic? Same age, same culture, same race, etc? Well, I married a woman who was exactly that, and you know what? The differences between us were still just as stark as the ones between different cultures and different generations! Though both of us were already Christians, we had very different methods for following Him. And again, it would be an oversimplification to say that either of our ways were superior. Some areas she was further advanced in, and some areas I was.

We struggle to accept the idea that other people might be more advanced than us, though, even if only in part. We tend to think that our culture, our generation, and our family of origin were best. They can’t just have been good, they must be best. And we can spend a lot of time trying to convert people over to our unique perspective. In the end, though, it is not helpful for Guyanese to become Americans or Americans to become Guyanese. Millennials do not need to transform into the Gen-X mold, nor vice versa. My wife and I don’t need to remake one another in our own image.

Instead, all of us need to become more like Christ, and we can progress in that by learning from one another. We can view the differences between us and adopt all the good parts that each holds. There are things you can learn from different cultures, generations, and individuals. Several members, coming together in one body. There are even elements of Christianity that I’ve seen non-Christians get better than us! Your next lesson in discipleship is everywhere about you, you just need to look for the good.

Evolving Your Beliefs- Galatians 1:10, 1 Kings 12:6, 8

For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.

And king Rehoboam consulted with the old men, that stood before Solomon his father while he yet lived, and said, How do ye advise that I may answer this people?
But he forsook the counsel of the old men, which they had given him, and consulted with the young men that were grown up with him, and which stood before him.

COMMENTARY

Or do I seek to please men?
But he forsook the counsel of the old men and consulted with the young men that were grown up with him
We are social creatures, ones that crave the approval of our peers. Rehoboam preferred to be aligned with the men of his own age, and by that lost the kingdom of Israel. Paul suggested that if his desire was to please his peers, he would not be able to remain a servant of Christ.
I do believe that one of the greatest obstacles to letting go of our misconceptions is social. Most likely, if we are trying to accept a higher truth, we are close to others who still firmly believe the lower things that we once did. Those that drink socially have described how quitting the bottle was made all the more difficult by worrying what their friends might think of them.
True friends, of course, will still support one another in divergent beliefs. The things is, you’ll never know whether you have a true friend or not, until you see how they react to your boldly living a higher truth.

Knit Our Hearts- Personal Example

Last week the city I live in had a festival, one where the entire community pitched in to create a number of family-centric events. On Saturday they planned to have a little carnival, and each of the local church groups volunteered to run a different booth. At each one children could pay one ticket and then play a simple game and win prizes.

My church branch called me the week before to see if I would be willing to take ownership of the booth along with one other couple. They probably would have asked my wife as well, but she was had volunteered to take the women youth to a girls’ camp that week.

All of which is to say that I was assigned a task, and had as my only companionship an older couple that I did not know very well. I knew of them, I had heard them speak at various times in church meetings, but I honestly couldn’t remember ever having a direct conversation with them in the past. I felt that we simply moved in different circles.

Over the course of that week we spent hours together. We had planning meetings, we sought out additional volunteers to help run the game, we setup the booth, manned it, and finally took everything back down at the end of the day.

In all that time we spoke a great deal, but never did we have that “magical moment” where we suddenly realized that we had so much in common. Life is not a Hallmark Movie, and at the end of it all we still move in entirely different circles.

And yet…at the end of it all I did feel that I had made two friends. Because in the end we did actually share something together. An experience. It was a little something, but it was mutual. And whenever we share something, no matter how small, we start to build a kinship.

Too often I limit my friendships to those that I share personality traits with. To like you, I have to find something like me in you. And there isn’t anything wrong in seeking those relationships, but it is restricting if they are the only ones I will consider.

Sharing personality traits is good, but I can also learn to love others by sharing experiences with them. And then, if I continue to share experiences and build bridges with a wide variety of brothers and sisters, perhaps eventually I will also learn to love others just for sharing in our common humanity. For sharing in the journey of Earth life. For sharing a Father in Heaven. For sharing a divine potential.

Knit Our Hearts- James 3:2 (NIV); Proverbs 9:9, 27:17

We all stumble in many ways.

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

COMMENTARY

We all stumble in many ways
Give me a list of moral dilemmas, ethical quandaries, and human behaviors to judge. I will answer each one and I will invariably feel that all of my answers are the right answers, or in other words I will feel that my opinion is the same as God’s. Every man believes that he judges rightly.
But if I ask you to answer this same list of questions, you might answer some the same as me, but you will inevitably answer others of them differently. And for all your answers you will be just as convinced of your own rightness as I am of mine, and this would mean that at least one of us must be wrong, even when we are convinced that we are right.
If we’re being perfectly honest, though, it isn’t just one of us that is wrong. Neither you nor I will be totally right in all of our judgments because we are flawed and imperfect beings. In one of our disagreements I might be the one in error, but in another disagreement it might be you.
Every man believes that he judges rightly, but every man is at least somewhat mistaken.

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser
A man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend
Exploring the differences in our beliefs can be a painful exercise, because it is very easy to get one’s pride tangled up in it. If one is not careful, then feelings are hurt and bitterness comes out. However, if both parties are willing to shelve their pride and sincerely seek truth, then something remarkable occurs.
First we can examine our areas of disagreement objectively. By questioning our motives we may discover a bias that blocked our discernment. With time and care we can each improve, or sharpen, the other’s understanding.
There is another benefit as well. Though we may have differences of opinion, we also certainly have agreements. As I suggested yesterday, in those places where our opinions overlap our confidence in having judged rightly greatly increases. There, in our mutual agreement, we begin to see God in our midst.

Knit Our Hearts- Question

I have found a lot of personal value in these last couple studies. I guess I needed some reminders of service and brotherly love. I can certainly say from my own heart that the soul truly does crave unity, and we are meant to be bound together.

But with all of that, I have one question remaining. Having a desire to be united to all mankind is good and well, but to build bridges you need to work with people on an individual basis, not just as some nebulous “all mankind.” And working with individuals can be messy. It is a very easy temptation to say “well I don’t want a connection with you, I’ll wait for someone better.”

I think we are meant to be grateful for the relationships that come easily and naturally, but to persevere for the relationships that don’t. With this next study I’d like to take a smaller scope and find answers to questions like how do I clear the barriers between me and someone else? How do I forgive past wrongs? What actions build unity? How do people start working for some united goal? How do two strangers become friends?

I’m excited to do this research, and hope it will be as valuable for you as I expect it to be for me. In the meanwhile I would love to hear about your own experiences building bridges with others. What ways have you found to set aside differences? What miracles have you seen when you decided to try?