We have many stories of people who are in want of strength, who plead for the Lord to empower them for the task ahead, and so it is in some cases. However, many of us carry a burden that is exactly the opposite. We have been given a passion that is too powerful for us to handle on their own.
If we turn that passion to self-indulgence it damages us with its overpowering stream. if we try to ignore it, it builds up pressure until it bursts out in painful ways. This passion could be a great gift, but it will instead be a great danger if we never learn what to do with it.
God gave us this passion so that we are meant to do with it is pour it back into Him. He is not only the well that forever gives He is also the well that can forever take. Only into Him can we safely disperse our passion, our energy, and our drive, and not be harmed by the flowing power.
We were never designed to operate on our own. God made us with oversized hearts so that we can fit the extra parts into Him.
16 And the priest shall burn them upon the altar: it is the food of the offering made by fire for a sweet savour: all the fat is the Lord’s.
17 It shall be a perpetual statute for your generations throughout all your dwellings, that ye eat neither fat nor blood.
This chapter ends with an interesting aside, where the Lord gives a commandment to the Israelites. Parts of these animals were never to be consumed by the Israelites. The Israelites were forbidden from consuming the blood of the animal, and from eating the fat. And it doesn’t seem to be because these parts were unclean or evil, but because they instead belonged to the Lord.
From other verses it is made clear that the blood was seen as containing the life itself of the animal. It was the sacred, animating factor that turned the creature from a heap of flesh and bones to a moving, acting thing. The fat, being the richest part of the animal, represented passion, energy, and drive. Thus, the animating factor in our lives, and our passion, energy, and drive, are to be seen as belonging to the Lord, not ourselves. We should not give our passion and life to our own desires, but reserve them for the higher purposes of God.
I don’t think that is just about reserving the best of ourselves for God. That could certainly be a part of it, but I believe it is also because the forces of life and passion are too strong for us to handle on our own. They are simply too potent, too powerful. We become drunk on our own passion and we flail about, trying to find some well that is deep enough to hold them. And so, we end up indulging in addiction, gambling, unsafe sex, vanity, greed, endless partying, and false causes. They are attractive to us because they are bottomless pits that we can pour our life and passion into forever, never mind the fact that they are unworthy vessels.
Thousands of years ago God showed His people a different endless well that we could pour their lives and passion into: Him. Just as the Israelites were warned not to try and stomach the fat and blood of the animal, but to surrender it to God instead, we are meant to direct our greatest energy and vitality to His cause, and it will be for our own good.
In my first post I suggested that most of our spiritual practice grows naturally from first having a seed of spiritual knowledge. On the most basic level, God provides us revelations, and we adjust our behavior in response. What is that, if not receiving knowledge, and then putting it into practice?
Just how deep of a change can be made to human practice by a revelation of knowledge? Is there a limit to the potential power that can be bundled inside of a revealed truth? Let’s consider that question by examining the most impactful revelation that was ever made to man.
Knowledge that Transforms)
When Paul wrote to the Colossians, he spoke of a deep, cosmic mystery that had just been revealed to the world with tremendous effect:
Even the mystery which hath been hid from ages and from generations, but now is made manifest to his saints: To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus: Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily. -Colossians 1:26-27
The great mystery that Paul shares in these verses is that Christ lives within each one of us. This was a radical notion that completely shifted the common perspective of a God that lived external and separate from man. The idea that part of our very soul is shared with our creator’s is very extreme and would be deeply heretical if it wasn’t true!
Paul further explains that it is this revelation that led him and so many other disciples to dedicate their whole lives to spreading the gospel. Paul, of course, had made a complete 180 from his previous life, and now he and many other disciples were solely focused on this work because the truth was still “working in them mightily.”
Any honest historian, even one who is not a follower of Jesus, will attest to the fact that the Christian movement is one of the most important and influential forces in the human story. It is hard to think of anything else that has altered the course of nations, wars, and society like Christianity has. Its power to transform is unmatched, and I agree with Paul that this power of transformation has at its root that one core revelation that God lives within us.
Given this, I cannot put any limit on the potential power of revealed knowledge. Notice that I say potential power, much like how a heavy weight raised to a high height has only potential energy, not kinetic energy. Knowledge has the potential for change, but it still requires a choice to act on it, just as the elevated weight requires an action to push it free. When these things happen, potential becomes realized, and there is no theoretical limit to how great that energy could be!
There are two ways to live falsely. The first is to take a false principle and insist that it is actually the truth. No amount of stubbornly insisting that our way is right will ever make it so, and we will grind our souls against the wheel of truth until we relent, or until it breaks us.
The second way to live a falsehood is to believe the actual, genuine truth, but to be insincere in our following of it. This might be due to being well-taught in our youth, but never gaining the fire and conviction of true conversion. We act in the manner of truth, but it comes out forced and unnatural.
Both sorts of false living require true conversion. Each person in these ways must become aligned to the truth at their core. At that point they will flow with the power of life instead of trudging upstream against it or floundering broadside to it.
Early in my recovery journey I went into the mountains to attend a three-day spiritual retreat based on the writings of John Eldredge. While there, I discovered a deeper and more consistent connection with God than I had ever known before. I gained an understanding of my past and a roadmap for my future. One of my takeaways was that I needed to start writing. I came back home and started a story blog, later expanding into this spiritual blog and a novel.
My initial motivation for writing was simply to do something creative, something that I had loved in my youth but abandoned somewhere along the way. Much to my surprise, though, the act of writing also became one of my greatest tools in recovery. As I wrote consistently, I felt my desire to lust decrease to a level where I could easily turn it down. I hadn’t started writing to gain sobriety, but that was what had happened even so.
I found this a strange, if welcome, phenomenon, and I started paying close attention to my behavior and feelings. Through my self-examination I believe I found the link between my writing and sobriety. Perhaps this concept will help you on your own journey.
Energy Costs)
One thing I noticed was that my writing took real energy. Sometimes I would try writing when I was tired because I thought it would be a calm and sedentary activity, but it didn’t work. I really struggled to compose anything, and whatever I did get down was of inferior quality. I found that I did my best writing when I was still fresh and full of energy. I might not work up a sweat with my writing, but it does take real mental energy.
And this, I discovered, was the same with lust. Lust takes a store of energy, even when one is only sitting at a computer. It expends your strength and leaves you weaker than you were before. Thus, I found that my act of creativity was burning the same fuel that was used for lust. When I gave my energy to my writing, there simply wasn’t any left over for vice.
This made me consider how one of my earliest triggers for lust was being bored as a teenager. Sitting around with nothing to do had left me with pent up energy that needed some sort of outlet. At first, I had spent it in my writing, but when lust presented itself as an easier alternative, I moved over to that, leaving my writing behind. I was able to do one of these activities but not both, and if I didn’t want to do one then I simply needed to do the other.
The Strength of Man)
I don’t think that my situation is unique, either. As I consider men as a whole, I can’t help but notice that so many of us have problems with anger and lust, two high-energy vices. This has led me to theorize that God has given men great strength, in order that we might do a great work, but too many of us are not seeking what that great work is. We miss our calling, yet we still have this great strength within us, and it’s got to come out in some way.
If this is true, then one of the key things for real recovery is for a man to find what his calling is and spend his strength in it. Exactly what that calling is is something that he must discover personally for himself. For me it was writing, but that won’t be the right calling for everyone.
One thing I am curious about is whether this phenomenon of pent up energy leading to addiction holds true for women as well. The addiction recovery groups I have been part of have been exclusively men, and obviously I am a man myself. I would defer any insights on the addiction patterns of women to someone who is more directly connected there.
But for men, at least, I think there is some real truth here. I am still evaluating this theory, and perhaps my opinions will evolve as to how energy, productivity, and addiction relate to one another, but I am at least certain that it is always good to seek one’s calling and put one’s strength into it. I am certain that doing so can only help one in their sobriety.
If you have desired sobriety for yourself, but been unable to attain it, I would recommend that you take some time to consider what calling God has for you, and how you can pour your heart and soul into fulfilling it. Join a group, work the program, and find your purpose in life. It is a wonderful way to live!
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.
COMMENTARY
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not There is a reason I titled this study the doing “muscle.” Holding oneself to self-improvement takes a very real energy. And that energy is not infinite, it runs low and it runs out, it is more available after a good night’s sleep, and less so when exhausted. Sometimes we feel energized to do that work, and other times we just don’t have any resolve left in us. We can exercise this muscle, but we can also overdo it and crash.
And see that all these things are done in wisdom; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength And frankly I have many times burned myself out because I didn’t view my resolve like a muscle. If I consider my literal muscles, then I know that if I sprint for too long I will feel fatigued, and I will know to bring my pace down to a more sustainable level. But how many of us have over-the-top New Year’s resolutions, ones where we don’t recognize the fatigue until we’ve completely fallen off the bandwagon? In addiction therapy they caution against “white-knuckling,” where you try to force yourself to be totally perfect by sheer force of will. Force of will expends itself until it just isn’t there anymore, and then you fail again. Yes we should improve and yes we should strengthen our moral muscles, but we will have much more success doing it in a measured, sustainable, steadily-improving sort of way.
Spiritual Wanderings 