You will never be enough so long as you hold part back.
You have to give your whole heart to Him,
And then you’re already enough.
How to be Good Enough
Grit vs Surrender- Surrendered Autonomy
An Acceptable Offering)
In the last post we discussed how God has given to man his autonomy, but that the proper use of that autonomy is for man to then surrender it back to God. This was the example that Jesus set for us, where he had power that no man could take his life from him, and even personally desired that the cup of his sacrifice might pass from him, yet he surrendered his autonomy, submitting his will to the Father’s.
It is remarkable to me how lifelong Christians still don’t recognize the need for following this pattern in their own lives. I made this mistake myself for many years. I spent nearly three decades trying to be “good enough,” while still reserving as much autonomy as possible. I wanted to follow God, but only in my own way, and only to the extent that I was comfortable with. The rest I would hold back.
How did that work out? Not at all. I put in so much effort into trying to do so much good, but it just never felt like it was enough. I felt like I was cursed. I felt like Cain, where I made offering to the Lord, but they just weren’t being accepted. I could tell that something was missing, and I would try to fill that void with more “doing good,” but it was all in vain. What I wasn’t realizing was that it wasn’t a quantity problem, it was a quality problem.
Trying to be “good enough,” while still reserving as much autonomy as possible, is still withholding part of the heart from Jesus. And that’s a fundamental problem for us, because “the Lord looketh on the heart,” (1 Samuel 16:7). No matter how much else we put on the altar, while trying to conceal the part we won’t offer, we’re still not all His. There still remains a part of us that we don’t trust Him with, and that leaves a gulf between us that nothing else will fill.
Obsessed With Autonomy)
The western world is obsessed with autonomy. Total autonomy is actually a good thing, when it is used for a total surrender to God, but typically, that is not what we actually do. Instead, our society trains us to seize our total autonomy, and not to surrender it to anyone else, ever. Not even to God.
This only sets us up for a lifetime of always feeling insufficient and empty. We try to make ourselves fully good without giving ourselves fully to our Creator, which is only an exercise in frustration. It sets us up for a life of pushing and trying, but never actually being made better.
How great the revelation when we realize that we don’t need to worry about how to make ourselves better, we can instead let go of the ego, the need for control, and the appetites that drive us. When we let those things go, we don’t even have to make ourselves better, we just are better naturally.
Where effort only ever led to defeat, surrender is the path to victory. Where making better choices never works, capitulating all choice to God always does. Where the giving of strength never breaks shackles, the giving of the heart brings true freedom.
Equal vs Enough
It is less important to be equal than to be enough.
That isn’t to say that there isn’t a value to equality. Rooting out unfair disadvantages and gross discrimination have their place, but every virtue is bounded by others and each can be taken too far.
Perfect equality is not always the ideal and is not always possible. When a baby is first born, it should receive more care than its older brothers and sisters. The wise should receive more attention than the foolish. The innocent should have more liberty than the guilty.
Even the natural universe follows the pareto principle, in which an uneven distribution is evident, and the minority possess the majority of the resources. In the ant colony there is only one queen and tens of thousands of workers. Only 1% of all mosquito eggs will reach adulthood and reproduce. Ours is the only planet out of thousands studied to have all the correct conditions to support life. The universe is not equal.
So, while it is again worthy to root out flagrant and malicious inequality, one has to have a nuanced appreciation for the fact that absolute equality is impossible. The unbridled pursuit of it can only yield frustration and counter-productivity. Every historical example of absolute and mandated equality has ended in disaster.
In the long run, “is it enough” is a more reasonable consideration than “is it equal.” As mentioned before, the older brother may not receive equal care to his infant sister, but we can ask “is he receiving enough?” Are his physical and emotional needs being adequately met? If it is not enough, he should receive more. If it is enough, then it is enough. Are enough ants born as queen to keep their species alive? If not, they will go extinct. If it is enough, then is it enough.
Over the course of our lives we will never be perfectly equal to all others. In some ways we will always have less, and in some ways we will always have more. But do we have enough? Can we make do with our disadvantages? Can God make up for what we lack? If we can find our way to enough, then it is enough.
Thought for the Day- Never Enough Time
There is never enough time to do all the good that you imagine.
So surrender that, and simply do what you can.
Spiritual Wanderings 