Posted on by Abe Austin

Deeper Love- Parental Love

Could You Love Your Son if He Were Gay?)

One of the most common ways that people have expressed disbelief to me that I could both love a person and disagree with their lifestyle, is to have them say, “Well what if your son turned out to be gay?”

But I do not find this a difficult question at all. The simple truth is that if one of my children announced to me that he or she was gay, I would still be just as opposed to that lifestyle and still love them just as much. Anyone that questions a parent’s ability to love a child who chooses a different path betrays that they know very little of paternal love.

What is more, those who ask this question don’t seem to realize that they don’t even believe its implication. The question implies that you can’t love your child unless you approve and accept of all they do. To that I say, “Could you still love your son if he got a girl pregnant in High School? Would you have to prove that love by now approving of teenage pregnancy? Could you still love your son if he got arrested for driving under the influence? Would you have to prove that love by now approving of drunk driving?” Of course you would still love your child, and of course you could do so without approving of all their behavior.

Loved Even When Bad)

Another important aspect of paternal love is its dependability. Children of good parents who hold strong convictions know that their father and mother’s love is sure, a reliable foundation that can be built on. If I were to uproot my core beliefs just to make my child happy, then they wouldn’t really know who I was anymore, and my love would only provide a shallow foundation, and they couldn’t depend on it.

Children need to know that their parents’ love is rooted in something deep that can never be lost, not that the parent relates to them out of fear, constantly shifting their ground to avoid losing the relationship.

If my child did something deeply wrong, and I shifted ground to approve of that behavior, then I would be depriving my child of one of the greatest lessons of love that there is and teaching him something incredibly destructive instead. By my saying, “I will have to redefine ‘good’ so that I can keep loving you,” I am teaching that only the good can be loved. That lie causes incredible damage in children. Think how much more powerful of a lesson I could teach by holding to my principles and my love. That says to my child, “You can be loved no matter what, even when you are bad.“

If we never receive love from those that think that you are wrong, we will never understand that even the wrong can be loved. We will never have hope when we fall short. We will never believe that we can be saved after doing something damnable.

There is a reason why God has spoken to us His truth and His commandments alongside His love and His care. The scriptures show us the example of a parent who will not compromise His standard for us, but who will not stop loving us either. That is the love that can be trusted. That is the love can be built on like a rock. That is the love that saves.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Deeper Love- Unconditional Love

The Love of an Enemy)

I’ve already made a couple posts challenging the notion that I cannot love my brothers and sisters and also stand opposed to certain lifestyle choices that they engage in. I do not condemn such people, because it is not my place to condemn, and I do not seek opportunity to disparage or insult. I seek to speak with love and consideration, but if the matter of certain behaviors comes up, I will bear my honest testimony based upon the word of God. Thus, I will love my fellow man, but I will not compromise my conscience.

And as I’ve considered this conviction, I’ve realized that it is only from such a foundation that love can be unconditional and reliable. As I consider my own relationship with Christ, I must confess that for a long time I was his enemy, openly disobeying his word as a pattern of life, even though I knew he stood against it. But what does Paul teach of God’s attitude towards enemies like me?

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us,” (Romans 5:8).

God loved me, and sent His son to die for me, while I was still a sinner, still an enemy to everything that He stood for. And if He loved me when I was His enemy, what more could I do to lose His love? He was already diametrically opposed to me, so it didn’t matter what I did, His love was always still there. It was the surest, most unconditional thing that I have ever had.

A Sure Foundation)

And I truly believe that this is true for sincere disciples of Christ also. We are able to be opposed to sin yet still love the sinner. I would not consider myself to be your enemy, but perhaps you consider me such. Fine, so be it. Then I am at least an enemy that loves you. And even as you continue to do enemy things, and work against me, I will still love you.

Isn’t it obvious that the love that says, “Even though I disagree, even though I will never support your cause…I still love you as a brother or sister” is more powerful than the love that would say, “I will compromise all of my convictions to make you happy?”

Speaking for myself, I would far rather have 100 enemies who still had the basic love of humanity for me, than one “friend” who abandoned his convictions to be by my side. I could always trust in the love that came from the person rooted in his convictions. The “love” of the friend who has abandoned his core is far more unpredictable and conditional.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Coming to God Through Others

The Order of Love)

1 John 4:20 states: If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

This is an interesting claim. It doesn’t just seem to be saying that hate of a brother gets in the way of our love for God, it seems to be setting an order of progression, where love of brother comes before love of God. It says that we have to learn what we can see, before we can have any hope of loving what we cannot.

And at first this seemed backwards when compared to my personal experience. I would have said that I always loved God, and growing closer to Him was fundamental to increasing my love for others. But as I thought more about it, I wouldn’t say that I always loved God, I would say that I always loved my idea of Him.

But God is not just an idea, He is an actual being, who has to be known as He really is before you can love Him as He really is. And coming to know and love the real Him, in my personal life, did come only after getting to know and love a group of brothers. It occurred as I attended 12-step groups for the first time. There, I started to have real conversations with other men and developed a real appreciation for each one of them. Then, and only then, I started to see the reflection of the real God in their eyes and started to love Him, too.

And yes, loving God did increase my ability to love my fellow man, so there is a positive feedback loop here, but it all started with coming to know and love those around me first.

Avatars of the Almighty)

Unfortunately, many of our interactions with our fellow man are shallow. Too many of them are neutral at best, with many of them being downright negative. We all-too-rarely get close enough to see the spark of the divine in another person and fall in love with that inner soul. We see too many of God’s children as an obstacle in our lives, not as the avatar for the Almighty. But that’s what they really are.

We are told in the very first chapter of the Bible, “So God created man in his own image,” (Genesis 1:27). Mankind, flawed as it might be, are the closest any of us will ever come in this life to seeing the face of God. The best representation of God is not our ideas of Him, not His commandments and principles, and not the churches that profess His name. The best representation of God is the people who hold His light aloft. All the other things are good, and point us part of the way, but it is in people that we actually start to meet Him.

So, let us ask ourselves, do I know and love Godly people in that personal and intimate way? Do I look for the spark of the divine, even in those who are flawed and oppose me? If our answer is no, then we’ve never really known and loved the real God either. If our answer is yes, then we have already had glimpses of God, and can continue to pursue Him further in all the rest of our brothers and sisters.

Posted on by Abe Austin

A Loving Relationship with Christ- Reciprocated Love

The Need to Know)

In the last post we made clear that all of us are loved by Jesus, all of us are offered salvation in his name, but not all of us who call upon that name will actually be saved. What, then, still remains? What must be paired with the love of Jesus for us to be redeemed?

Well, continuing with the scripture from yesterday, what explanation did Jesus give to those that would be rejected from his kingdom. He said, “And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity” (Matthew 7:23).

Contrast that with Jesus’s description of eternal life was: “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.” (John 17:3).

Both of these passages use the very “know.” Clearly, “knowing” has something to do with those that are saved and those that are not. But let’s look at two more verses to expand this further.

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment,” (Matthew 22:37-38).

“He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love,” (1 John 4:8).

Here, the verb “know” is joined by “love.” Thus, we need to know Christ, and be known by him, and also part of that knowing is loving the Almighty, which is the greatest commandment that we are called to do.

Divine Relationship)

So yes, being loved by Jesus is an essential part of our salvation but so is loving him back. We need to be known by him, but also, we need to know him. In a word, we need “relationship.” This is the part that we were missing in yesterday’s post, this is why salvation is a two-way street. Being loved without reciprocation is not a relationship, and it isn’t enough for a man to be redeemed by.

We started this study by considering those who openly defy the commandments of God, but justify it by saying, “Jesus loves me just the way I am,” suggesting that their salvation was made sure by the fact that Jesus cared for them. They are correct that Jesus loves them, but that was only ever half the requirement for salvation.

To these people the correct response is, “Yes, Jesus does love you, but how do you love him back?”

Posted on by Abe Austin

Christian Submission

In what way have you given up your own will
And submitted to God’s instead?
And if you haven’t
And if you won’t
Then can you call yourself a Christian?

Matthew 7:21; Matthew 16:24

Posted on by Abe Austin

Seeking Signs- The Exception and the Rule

Signs and Wonders)

Thus far I have emphasized why God would not want to manifest Himself to our physical senses as a way to win our belief in Him. I have pointed out how doing so can reinforce undesirable trends, such as an unwillingness to take a leap of faith or having an over-reliance on sensuous knowledge. These are important realities to understand and accept, as they discourage us from becoming, in the words of Jesus, “an evil and adulterous generation that seeks for a sign,” (Matthew 12:39).

All that being said, this series would not be complete if I did not acknowledge the fact that there are times where God manifests Himself in some miraculous way, and that this has had the fact of converting unbelievers.

One example of this is Elijah calling fire down from heaven to consume an offering, causing the Israelites that had strayed to Baal to cry out, “The Lord, he is the God; the Lord, he is the God.” There was also the day of Pentecost, where the disciples of Jesus spoke in tongues, every man hearing them in their own language, ultimately leading to 3,000 being baptized. There was also the earthquake that rent the doors of the prison where Paul and Silas were being held, leading their jailer to plead for salvation.

Thus, it is undeniable that sometimes God does show His power in incredible miracles, and that it does have the effect of converting unbelievers into His disciples. Given that, why is this not a common occurrence to everyone? Why can we not all count on it in our own lives?

Quieter Means)

Thus far in the series I have given some reason as to reasons why God would not resort to miracles as a general rule, but I do have to acknowledge that these are just speculation. There is no verified scripture that I know of which provides the definitive answer from God. Maybe the souls of those who did receive miracles were uniquely fitted for receiving those signs, maybe God only uses miracles to accelerate initial growth of his people but then relies on more natural means afterward, maybe there are cosmic balances to be considered as to when to show a miracle or not. I simply do not know.

What I do know, though, is that there is a vastly predominant pattern of disciples coming to their faith without miracles. Jesus, when he appeared to doubting Thomas, declared, “because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed,” (John 20:29). This passage makes clear that while some have believed because of what they were privileged to see, there will be many others who must believe without seeing.

For every tale of a miracle-based testimony, we have countless smaller and simpler accounts as well. Think of the Ethiopian eunuch who was converted simply by having Philip expound the scriptures to him (Acts 8:27-38). There is also Lydia of Thyatira who was convinced only by hearing the teaching of Paul (Acts 16:14-15). Think of Ruth, who converted due to her loyalty to her mother-in-law (Ruth 1:16-17). Or the people of Nineveh, who converted from Jonah’s preaching, even though they never witnessed his encounter with the big fish (Jonah 3). Think of Rahab, who saved the spies of Israel and joined their people, only by hearing the testimony of what the Lord had done in Egypt (Joshua 2). There were the Bereans, who compared Paul’s teachings to the words of the Bible to obtain their conviction (Acts 17:10-12). Think also of Simeon and Anna, who recognized the infant Jesus as their Lord, not by any thunderous sign, but simply by having cultivated a spiritual attunement in their hearts (Luke 2:25-38).

Yes, God can change people by miracles, but for whatever reasons, He usually does not. Far more commonly, He only relies upon spiritual, transcendent witnesses, which we will only secure if we open our hearts and seek them. God does not come to us on our terms; we come to Him on His.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Seeking Signs- Path Before Destination

Finding the Right Approach)

Yesterday I spoke about those who require a sign before they will believe in God or consider changing their lifestyles to fit His commandments. Today I want to point out that God does not just want us to believe in Him, He wants us to come to belief in the right way.

As any teacher knows, it is not enough for a student to have the right answer, but to come by it honestly. If all the teacher wanted was perfect grades, then the best method would be to show the children how to find the answers in the back of the book. Obviously, what is actually wanted is for the child to find the right answer through work and understanding.

It is the same for God. The disbeliever who calls for a sign is trying to peek at the back of the book. He assumes that if God wanted him to believe, then God should take the easiest, most direct route in convincing him. And yes, God does want him to believe, but like the teacher, God knows that belief is only helpful when the child comes to it through work and understanding.

The Flattening of God)

When those that seek signs describe what they want from God, it is manifestations that are perceived by the mortal senses. Writing in the heavens, a booming voice, an earthly visit…these are all things that would convince through sight, hearing, or touch.

Right away, I can see a problem with this. We are already a lopsided people. We rely on our physical senses so much more than our spiritual ones. There are many who only observe the world sensuously. Who doubt that there even is a spiritual domain. Who believe that knowledge can only be obtained by inquiry of the physical senses. If God were to flatten His presentation into this physical domain, it would only reinforce that lopsided view. It would reward us for being overly sensuous. It would affirm that this temporal domain is the only one that matters.

But God exists on so much more than just the temporal domain. He is transcendent and spiritual, and He wants us to meet Him on those planes. He wants to reward us for exercising our spiritual intuition. He wants us to feel Him in our hearts without ever seeing Him with our eyes. He wants us to learn that a spiritual connection is even more real and intimate than a physical one. So yes, God wants us to believe, but He wants us to find that belief in a way that sets us on a journey of rich spiritual discovery.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Seeking Signs- How Far Will You Pursue?

Waste of a Miracle)

There are those that say they will only believe in God if He will show them an irrefutable sign of His existence. They say, “If God is real, and He really cares about having me believe in Him, and He knows me perfectly, then He knows that I need physically observable evidence of Him.” They suggest things like a message written in the stars, or God descending to the earth in all His glory, or a booming voice sounding from heaven. Those would be strong, undeniable proofs of God’s existence, and surely that would bring many more people to accept Him as their Lord, so why not just do that?

To that I say: And what will you do if God does not show up with these great, undeniable signs? Will you continue to pursue the knowledge of Him?

The answer: I will do nothing, and I will pursue no further.

And to that I say: Why would God ever waste His time on someone with that attitude? Why manifest Himself to someone so fickle and disinterested? Frankly, you don’t seem to actually care all that much whether God is real or not. Are you genuinely quivering on the edge of remaking your whole life to follow Him just as soon He shows you a miracle? I find that hard to believe.

Pattern for Belief)

People hear that God wants us to believe in Him, and from that they assume that the onus is on Him to do the convincing. But two things can be true at once. God can both want us to believe in Him and also be perfectly willing to let us go if we don’t care enough to take the first step.

To be clear, I do believe that God pursues on His end, but I also believe He always stops short of making us believe in Him. In my experience, He always requires us to make at least one step in total faith. We have to do something because we believe it is right, not at all sure that it will turn out well, and that is when He appears to us.

If, on the other hand, we see that step before us and say, “no, God, not until you show me a sign,” He will let us go.