Posted on by Abe Austin

How to Get the Praise You Deserve: Part Six

Hearing His Voice)

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: - John 10:27

I have discussed how we need to hear God’s approval to be fulfilled in life, and that we receive His approval when we keep His commandments. For much of my life, with my addiction to lust and pornography, I was willingly violating God’s commandments of chastity, and I was certainly devoid the sense of His approval.

When I decided to make my confession and seriously begin the work of recovery, I was quickly flooded with feelings of His pleasure and approval. My heart was made sensitive to day-to-day moments that might have otherwise gone unnoticed. I saw His love and approval in a beautiful sunrise, a plan for the day that worked out, and a word of kindness from a stranger.

And this was one of the most important transformations for me: learning how to see and hear God’s approval in the day-to-day moments that I might have previously missed. Thankfully, right at the start of my recovery, God led me to people and places who would teach me to see Him more clearly.

I will spend the next posts examining three of the ways that I have learned to feel God’s pleasure in my life. Today we will take a look at the signs and wonders in the world around us.

Love Notes)

Right at the beginning of my recovery journey, my group therapist invited me to the Warrior Heart retreat based on the writings of John Eldredge, held in the mountains of Utah. One of the things they spoke about there was the notion of looking for “love notes” from God.

This led me to make an extremely important shift in how I view things of beauty and significance in the world. I have changed from interpreting the wonders around me as random happenstance, to seeing them as the deliberate actions of a Father who is trying to say “I love you. I made this for you. I appreciate the good that you’re doing in my world.”

I remember one night, just after my family moved into a new home by a little lake, I was woken by one of my children crying. After I had comforted her and she had gone back to sleep, I stepped by a South-facing window and my vision was filled with the full moon it all its glory, with its light bursting all across the tranquil water. The thought crossed my mind that I might be the only person in the world seeing this same view at this same moment, and even I would have missed it if not for my daughter calling me out of bed in the middle of the night. I chose to interpret the moment as a gift from a loving Father, a sign of approval for how I was trying to follow Him.

False Attribution?)

Perhaps it seems vain to assume that an entire act of nature was put together just for your benefit, or that God, Himself, summoned you to be a witness to His majesty. I certainly felt skeptical about calling moments of cosmic wonder a gift from heaven to little, old me. But as I started the practice of saying “thank you,” for these events, and allowing myself to indulge in their glory as if they really were made just for me, I never felt wrong for doing it. I didn’t feel like I was taking something that didn’t belong to me, or that I was giving credit to God where it wasn’t due. I actually felt very right about it, as if I was finally giving the miracle the applause that it had always been waiting for.

If we take the deliberate intention out of these moments, then they lose so much of what makes them meaningful and beautiful. They become nothing more than random chance, systems of particles and energy devoid of any feeling, noise and fury signify nothing. To deny the possibility of God crafting a perfect moment for you is to consign yourself to a cold and heartless world, one where your delight in it is nothing more than an accidental side-effect.

It is better to assume the best in others, including in God. Assume that if something mattered to you, He did it on purpose.

Expanding Wonder)

When we embrace life in this manner, then that life starts to open wider. Gratitude for kindness tends to beget more kindness. Once you start taking special note of the beauty in the world and saying “thank you” for it, then you’ll start noting beauty in more and more places.

I especially started noticing the beauty in the clouds above me. I’ve always loved tall, expansive, complex cloud structures, but it wasn’t until recently I appreciated how prevalent they are in my part of the world. Our Rocky Mountains are crowned by mountains in the sky every other day it seems.

I started to feel grateful for the visual representations of mathematical patterns people have discovered, such as the Mandelbrot set and Conway’s Game of Life. I was always entertained by these, but just recently I started to say “thank you” to God for there being people that were able to find them, and for me being able to experience them. When I did, I felt a rush of overpowering love. I really think God was grateful that I was finally acknowledging the beauty He had placed around me all my life.

I’ve also started to show gratitude for when my day goes according to plan. I know all too well that the schedules of my family, work, and personal errands are not guaranteed to line up at all, but when they do I feel wonderfully fulfilled in every sector.

In short, there are countless ways to recognize God’s love and approval in my life. And I really do believe that both those qualities need to be appreciated in these moments: His love and His approval. Sometimes I have more of a sense of His love from a beautiful sunrise, and other times it’s more of a sense that He’s saying, “you’re doing a good job.” The more I try to identify these moments, the more I discover new things to be grateful for, too. The more I show gratitude, the more there is to be grateful for. Is it because I am being more blessed than I was before, or is it because I am just recognizing it better? Probably both. After all, the ability to recognize blessings, is itself a blessing.

Interestingly, I started this study by discussing how we can feel more approval coming towards us, and I’ve ended up talking about how we can show more gratitude going out to God. It turns out that the two are inseparably linked. The more we expand our capacity to recognize God’s signs of approval to us, the more we are showing gratitude for Him doing so. It is a mutually-affirming relationship, which is the best kind that there is.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Personal Commitment: Month 8

December’s Review

For December I wanted to embrace a mentality of bounty and gratitude. My commitment was to pause each day and recognize the goodness that I have all around me.

And so I tried to pause each day, and pick out a different thing I had that brought good things into my life. I considered the car that I drive to work each day, the family I come home to each night, the creative ideas I enjoy, my good health, and the ability to get the things I need and want.

I even had an entire series on this blog that was based around recognizing the good things that are given universally to us all, such as the variety of the earth, the healing potential of our hearts, and our innate desire to improve our world.

I’m sorry to say that I forgot about this goal for about half of the month, though, and I need to figure out a better process for reminding myself of it between these check-ins.

But I did find a deep sense of peace on the days that I did remember it. There was just a strong sense of “I’m really in a good place, and things are going to be okay.” I can conclude that stopping to count my blessings from time-to-time is a healthy, grounding practice, and I want to continue with it.

January’s Commitment)

Of course January is often seen as a time of new beginnings, a time to recommit to self-improvement. I thought that fitting, because honestly I’ve been feeling a bit anxious about heaping too many to-do list items on myself with these monthly commitments.

So instead, I am going to double down on a commitment that I put in place during a previous month, but which I have lately become lax on. I am referring to my practice of two-hour check-ins to ground myself and set intentions for the next part of the day.

My days are better when I break them down into smaller portions and when I focus on doing right things in the moment, rather than procrastinating them to a later hour. Taking a break to connect to myself used to sound like a luxury that I couldn’t afford, but it makes me more present and more effective at everything else I need to do. And one of the things I will be adding to my pool of grounding exercises will be reflecting on the wonderful bounty I have all around me.

I’ll let you know how this recommitment goes for January at the start of next month. Here’s one New Year’s resolution that I don’t intend to give up on!

Thank you.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Give Thanks- Summary

There are a lot of things to be grateful for. I specifically tried to choose things for this #givethanks campaign that were universal, that anyone could still feel appreciation for, no matter how many trials are going on in their lives right now.

Certainly there have been a lot of trials for people this year. Not only in the form of large, international disruptions, but also in the quiet, personal tragedies that are an inevitable part of life. And from our trials it is all too easy to either become cynical and jaded, or else to hide our pain down deep where it will fester. The fact is that we should both be able to feel the weight of our sorrow and embrace the reality of still being very, very blessed.

In our lives we have both trials and blessings. And we have both of them in the exact same moments. It doesn’t do to deny either for the sake of the other. Even as we mourn our losses, we can also have joy for the things that we can never lose. The things that do not break or expire. The things that are promised for eternity.

The balanced heart knows its own sorrows, but its resting state is one of joy.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Give Thanks- Divinity

I am grateful for divinity.

Many of the things I have already expressed gratitude for in this series can be considered a moment of God showing His hand in my life. A moving piece of music or a sincere and thoughtful tale. A pattern of mathematics. A mentor’s help and a child’s kindness. The variety of the world. The opportunities of time. The desires within us to make new and good things. The healing of the heart. I sense His divinity in all these aspects of life.

I believe that if each of us paused to consider the things we are most grateful for, we would recognize that they are the moments when we glimpse another side of our Maker. Our fondest memories are based around Him in one way or another.

It is true that we live in a fallen world, and it obscures our view of God, but He condescends to our presence in every way that He still can. When He does, these become the defining moments of our lives. They awaken in us the desire to be better. They make us to be our best selves.

#givethanks

Posted on by Abe Austin

Give Thanks- Passion

I am grateful for passion.

People have an amazing capacity for doing extremely difficult things, so long as they are motivated by a pure desire. While having a hardship imposed on us by another is a terrible thing to bear, imposing our own hardships to accomplish something we are passionate for is a privilege!

Our greatest desires are a joyful irritant, they constantly discontent us with things as they are and convince us that they should be made better. From this restless desire for improvement has come the idea that a country could be run by a democracy, that a better painting material could be derived from oils, and that people could fly in machines. And while these accomplishments were the greatest revelation anyone could hope for in their day, the next generations were restless again to improve on them.

And so democracy is extended to people of every race, hospitals develop better sanitation, and technology connects more and more people together. We take the good that we already have and are driven to push it farther. Just because we want to. Just for our own personal satisfaction. What a wonderful system has been written into each of us, that we make the world a better place just by pursuing the most genuine desires of our hearts.

#givethanks

Posted on by Abe Austin

Give Thanks- Time

I am grateful for time.

Time is a powerful commodity, the greatest currency in our lives, one that we spend at a regular rate. And if we observe where we have passively spent that time it will reveal to us the things that we love most. For more than words and commitments, the proof of our devotion is where we have dedicated our days and hours.

But we can also consciously spend our time on the things that matter most to us. This is the surest way to guarantee that those things receive the respect they deserve. We can even spend time on the things that don’t matter to us as much as we think they should. After enough time is spent on something, we inevitably form a powerful bond to that thing.

And spending time isn’t all. We can also invest it. Even a small contribution each day can yield a powerful profit. And slow and steady contributions of a person’s time have resulted in some of the greatest work this world has seen.

In short, time is the currency by which everything we do gets done. It allows us to take a our current situation and, through time, improve on it. Given enough time, we can become the sort of person we want to be.

#givethanks

Posted on by Abe Austin

Give Thanks- Children

I am grateful for children.

I’ve always been able to understand these small persons much better than their adult counterparts. Children’s rules are far simpler, their criteria for being accepted into the group are far less cryptic.

A friend once pointed out to me how delightfully straightforward children are when expressing their needs. They have no shame in asking for our affection. Where we adults try to “drop hints” about what we want, children simply come out and say when they require a hug, or a kiss, or a snuggle.

I also love how their natural state is one of happiness and play. They are able to have fun for the pure joy of it, without trying to turn it into a competition or a money-making scheme. They do what they love, simply because they love it.

Without a doubt, children are the best people I know.

#givethanks

Posted on by Abe Austin

Give Thanks- Variety

I am grateful for variety.

We didn’t have to have mountains and valleys and forests and tundras and deserts and islands and plains. It could have all been just one biome. But it isn’t.

And we didn’t have to have fruits and vegetables and herbs and spices and meat and grain. It could have just been one superfood. But it isn’t.

And we didn’t have to have art and music and inventions and dance and theater and humor and magic. Humanity could have only had cravings to do the work necessary for survival. But we don’t.

One of the greatest signs of God’s love is that the world isn’t only survivable, it is thriving. And it isn’t only sufficient, it is overflowing. And it isn’t just plain, it is beautiful.

#givethanks

Posted on by Abe Austin

Give Thanks- Second Chances

I am grateful for second chances.

There is a childish fear in us that if we make someone upset our friendship is over forever. That if we are sent to prison we can never be a part of society again. That if we, or our parents, go through a divorce we will never be whole again. That if we do something wrong, there isn’t a reason for others to like us anymore.

In short, many times in life we have a sense of something breaking and we believe that now it must always be broken. And while sticks and stones might work that way, living things have always had a remarkable ability to heal. And so forgiveness and second chances and mended hearts are a very real part of life. And when it is the hardest to believe in them is when they need to be believed in the most.

#givethanks

Posted on by Abe Austin

Give Thanks- Creativity

I am grateful for creativity.

In the first case I am grateful for the ability to take what I imagine and represent it in a way that can be shared with others. I have found great satisfaction in writing stories and blogs, and developing programs and games. I find that pieces of me are expressed in stunning clarity through my creations, and I have discovered entirely new things out about myself through them.

And secondly I am grateful for the creations of others. A story, or a piece of music, or a work of art are better able to convince me of what is right and good than perhaps any other sermon. And it is often the imagination of others that inspires my own creativity as a response to it.

And this creative nature of ours is divine. We inherited it from our Heavenly Father, the most creative being in the cosmos. Those that He creates, themselves desire to create.

#givethanks