Posted on by Abe Austin

Unfulfilled Dreams- It Isn’t the Same

Years of Longing)

I’ve wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. I used to watch movies as a boy like Old Yeller, Beethoven, Benji, Homeward Bound, Iron Will, and Balto, then beg my parents to let us get a puppy. I honestly don’t know how my mother felt about it, but my father was always against them. He had grown up with pets, lots of them, and had no interest in dealing with them again. We did get goldfish a couple of times, but that was it. Left to no other recourse, my siblings and I would make pets out of whatever we could. We would catch bugs and put them in jars, make “alien baby dolls” out of paper, and play pretend where my sister would discover the rest of us as wolves in the wild and lead our pack.

It just wasn’t the same.

Of course, eventually I grew up. And for a long time, I had many distractions to keep me from getting a dog. I was going through school, I was starting my career, my wife and I had a newborn, and then another, and then another. We’ve been building our little kingdom for thirteen years now, and just a few weeks ago it started to dawn on me that we had reached a certain level of stability. We have our own home, with a fenced-in yard, no major projects going on, and the kids just got on summer break. So I spoke to my wife about how this was the first really convenient time for us to have a dog of our own. Things moved very fast, and 48 hours later I introduced our new dog to our children!

Since that day, it has been a lot of fun! I’m really glad to finally have the dog that I’ve wanted for over thirty years. But…if I’m being honest…it isn’t the experience I’d always dreamed of.

Shifting Dreams)

In hindsight, it never could be. My dream had always been to have a dog in my childhood. I imagined going out exploring on summer days with my “good boy” by my side, letting him sneak into my room to sleep on my bed, and having a friend and a protector who would never leave. But things just don’t work out that way with a dog at this stage of life. These summer days I’m shut in the office, working to provide for the family. The dog tries to sneak onto the bed, but I can’t stop thinking about how dirty those paws are and tell her to get off. And I’m much more the protector than that dog will ever be.

Like I said, in hindsight, this is obvious, but in the days following getting the dog, it came as a real disappointment. I can still have a good experience with this dog, and I really am doing so, it’s just never going to be the “good experience” I had always dreamed of. That dream was inseparably connected to being a specific age, and I’m simply not that age any longer. That dream is gone, and that’s all there is to it.

But you know who that dream isn’t gone from? My kids. From my ten-year-old to my three-year-old, each one of them has spent hours each day playing, chasing, and laughing with the dog. They’re excited to feed it, excited to bathe it, even excited to scoop up its poop!

And so, my dreams need to shift around a fair bit. I have to let go of the old dream that was no longer possible. I have to accept the new dream, which is still good, but different from what the old one was. And I have to be content to see the old dream live on in my own children. This whole experience got me thinking about other dreams and hopes I’ve had for my life, including ones yet unrealized for my adult life. I realized some important lessons there, too. Ones that I will share in my next post.

Posted on by Abe Austin

The Offensively Faithful- Premise

We have been taught that we must stand firm in the gospel of Christ, eschewing the false teachings that would lead us astray. But at the same time, “all we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; every way of a man is right in his own eyes” (Isaiah 53:6, Proverbs 21:2). In a world of confusion and deception, how can we know whether we ourselves have been led astray, passionately believing things that are actually harmful and wrong?

That is the question that I wish to focus this short series on. Please note, it isn’t entirely the same as the question of, “how can I know if what I believe is right?” That question does not arise until after we have answered “what if what I believe is wrong?” We must first have our false paradigm broken, and be left with nothing, to then make space for the perspective that is true. Conviction of error must precede elation of correctness.

To that end, I wish to point out a metric by which many who have become deceived might recognize such and begin the process of renouncing their false beliefs. The metric is this: in the last days, if your beliefs are mainstream, are popular, are consistent with current trends, then you are almost certainly in the wrong. The scriptures paint a clear picture that in the last days those that are founded on the truth will be in the minority, they will seem strange to the rest of the world, and the depth of their convictions will be offensive. Furthermore, it seems doubtful that those in the majority will even know that they are deceived. They will not seem to be agents of evil, at least not at first. They will think that they are doing what is right, yet they will still be in the wrong.

Over the coming days we will look at the evidence for these claims, and what that means for us as we take a hard and honest look at ourselves, asking ourselves the question, “Lord, is it I?”

Posted on by Abe Austin

Hell Within

If you live every day with a level of physical comfort, security, wealth, and peace that almost no one in history has ever enjoyed, yet every day is filled with anger, anxiety, and despair, then perhaps it is time to consider that your hell comes from within.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Give Thanks- Explanation

During the week of Thanksgiving I took an invitation from President Russell M. Nelson to give daily expressions of gratitude on social media using the hashtag “givethanks.”

I didn’t take the invitation right away, though. To be honest I was skeptical when I first heard about it. I was worried that the whole thing would be artificial and sappy. I didn’t want to do something that would feel contrived or insincere.

Which I think revealed a cynicism in me, and was an indicator that I really did need something sweet and enriching. As it turned out, seeing everyone else’s posts as part of that campaign created a wonderful sense of community in me. I came to greatly appreciate scrolling down my Facebook feed each day to see what my family and friends were sharing gratitude for. It felt like an advent calendar, where each day was its own happy, little bundle.

And I’m grateful for the discoveries that came to me when I eventually decided to participate. As I came to the end of my week of gratitude I decided I wanted to share those realizations with you, and I will be doing that over the several days.

I’d also be curious to hear what things you have found to be grateful for at the end of our turbulent year. Did you feel sheltered from the worst of the afflictions? Or did you build new strength by being full in the face of adversity? Or maybe you’re still unsure what God’s plan in all this has been for you. Even if that’s the case, what else is there that you will always have gratitude for?

Posted on by Abe Austin

One Year In

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Reflections)

It was one year ago today that I decided to start this blog. At the time I had already been writing a story blog for a year, but felt that it just wasn’t covering the full spectrum of all I wanted to say. I wanted a better platform to directly explore my spiritual thoughts and feelings.

Also, I wanted a way to keep myself honest with my spiritual studies. I have always reviewed the scriptures on a frequent basis, but not on a regular one. I needed something that was more systematic, a dependable daily ritual. I also wanted to try a study approach that was different from my usual “read Genesis Chapter 1, now read Genesis Chapter 2, etc.”

This blog has met all of those needs perfectly. I have been far more reliable in my studies, I have found great value in choosing a topic and following wherever it may lead, and I feel far more aware of where my spirit is healthy, and where it has need to improve.

I have called this out before, but by far the lesson that has stood out most is my need to be a doer of the word, and not a hearer only. This study has helped make me a better hearer, but in the hearing comes the pricking of the conscience to now go and do.

To be sure, I am living a more Christian life now than I was a year ago, and I attribute much of that growth to how this blog has stirred (and at times agitated!) my soul. But I also see that I can do more, and I am very excited to see how I grow this next year when I take my studies deeper.

Statistics)

Before we get to those changes, though, I’d like to reflect on the numbers that make up the previous year. I have made 290 entries for this blog, resulting in 33 essays and 1 poem.
My blog has been read in 43 different countries, and I have been pleasantly surprised at the diversity in where it has been picked up. For example, there have been readers from Pakistan, China, Saudi Arabia, and Israel. This blog’s posts have had “likes” from readers that profess all manner of different religious beliefs, even of atheism.
The process of writing this blog has made me feel a powerful kinship to all others, even those with vastly different beliefs. It seems that much of the internet is focused on sowing discord, but this blog has opened me up to the realization that there are still streams of unity out there.

Moving Forward)

I am very grateful for all that this blog has provided to me, but particularly for the two lessons I have just detailed: that I need to act on the religious principles I study, and that I need to form bonds with all other sincere seekers of truth. I will be taking actions to try and incorporate those lessons into my blog moving forward.
In the first place, at the start of each month I am going to share which way my heart is pushing me to live my discipleship more. I will lay out my commitments for how I will answer my conscience, and then give an account for how things progressed with my next entry one month later.
In the second place, I am going to extend an invitation to all of my readers. I would like you to let me support or help you in any way that I can. In order for this request to not be lost in a wall of text, I will extend this offer in detail through its own post, which I will also publish tomorrow.

Thank You)

I find it very surreal that I live in a world where I can explore my own spirituality, and people all around the globe can participate in the journey. To be honest, my motivations in writing this blog have been largely self-centered. I wanted to understand the scriptures better for my own betterment, I want to answer the questions of my soul, I want to uncover what messages God was saying to me.
But intermingled with those intentions has been the hope that others might derive some benefit from being a witness to my journey. If any of these posts have meant anything to you, thank you.