Posted on by Abe Austin

What Benefit Do You Get From Your Sins?

There are a number of reasons why people break God’s commandments. Perhaps they do not believe in God, or they don’t see the importance of the commandment, or they don’t want to feel dictated in their behavior. All of these examples are a form of the person not agreeing with the commandment, so they don’t keep it.

But there is another category of commandment-breaking as well. We also break commandments that we do agree with. All of us have things where we say, “I know I shouldn’t do that…but I do it anyway. “I know I shouldn’t yell at my kids,” “I know I shouldn’t give in to my lust,” “I know I shouldn’t be so materialistic.” We can be genuinely convinced that that behavior really is wrong, yet have no plans or intention to stop it.

In these sorts of situations, I feel it is important to ask, “What is it that I am getting from this sin?” And that question should be asked sincerely. In our shame we might be tempted to respond, “Nothing, I get nothing from it, I just do it because I’m no good,” but that’s probably inaccurate. Most likely we continue with our sin because in the midst of all of the disgraceful, destructive elements of it, there is also something of value that we gain.

  • I know I shouldn’t yell at my kids…but it gives me an element of control.
  • I know I shouldn’t give in to my lust…but it soothes my loneliness.
  • I know I shouldn’t be so materialistic…but it motivates me to work harder.

Though we might not like giving into our vices, we’re not ready to live without the benefits that come with them. We might say that we don’t think that the ends justify the means, that the positive attribute isn’t more important to us than the negative ones, but our behavior would suggest otherwise. Part of us really does believe that the vice is the best way to get what we want, and it is terrified at the idea of living without that.

Identifying which benefit our vice provides us is the first step to being able to do something about it. Once we know what it is we are trying to get from the behavior, we can start to consider better ways that we can get it. Maybe we really do need more control in our home, or reprieve from our loneliness, or motivation to work hard. Is there another way that we can achieve that? A way that doesn’t compromise our conscience? A way that is harder, but more pure?

Hopefully so. But if not, then we still have our second option, which is to surrender the benefit to God. The fact is, we can’t always have all of the benefits that we want in our lives, at least not by moral means. Having identified exactly what that benefit is, though, allows us to be very specific when we lay it on the altar. We don’t just say, “God, I give you my will,” we say, “Here, God. I lay my desire for companionship on the altar. It seems for this chapter of life I just have to be lonely and I surrender to Your will in that. I will no longer seek to numb the pain from that loneliness by immoral behavior. I will embrace the hurt, that I may learn whatever lessons that You have for me in it. Amen.”

Posted on by Abe Austin

Personal Commitment: Month 1

May’s Review)

One month ago I shared a commitment to limit the role of media in my life. I started things off by drawing a very clear line in the sand, with specific activities marked as too indulgent, and others as permissive under the right conditions. It definitely helped to have such clear expectations, though I also tried to leave things open to just following my conscience in each moment’s decision.

Something that I learned from the whole process was the power of affirmative goals, as opposed to negative ones. Stacking upon myself a list of “shalt nots” made it feel like living with a tense grip that was difficult to maintain. On the other hand, making the same commitment, but while using positive verbiage instead of negative, made for a drastically different experience.

For example, saying “I won’t have any more unbounded media-browsing sessions on my phone” felt harder to follow than saying “When I do browse media, I will approach it with a clear intention for where I will go and for how long.” The first approach restricts me with things that I will not do, the second empowers me with things that I will do (live with intentionality).

As a result, I really have felt far less of a slave to my devices for the month of May. Admittedly there was a time where I missed playing games on my phone, so I installed a new one and then started spending way too much time on it, and there were times where I caught myself having to Google every little question that came up in my head when I was supposed to be working…but really my life has been the clearest and freshest it has been in a long while.

I am going to keep up with this commitment, but also start implementing a new one in the month of June.

June’s Commitment)

For this new commitment, I am trying to address a longstanding issue of “there are so many good things that I am supposed to do that I get discouraged and end up not doing any of them at all.”

But not only this, there is another practice of mine that I am going to work on, too. Every couple hours an alarm goes off on my phone, telling me to pause and ground myself. I check-in with how I’m really doing, say a little prayer, and renew my commitments for the day. And that sort of works, but it also tends to become routine and insincere after a while.

So I’m solving these two problems with each other. Every two hours the alarm will still go off, but there is no set ritual for how to ground myself. I will choose what to do in the moment, based entirely on what I feel I need right then.

My hope is to take that overbearing list of things I should be doing, and turn it into a buffet of things to enjoy at my leisure. Am I feeling hungry for some prayer? Or scripture study? Or meditation? Or to review some affirmations? Or to check in on a friend? Or to go on a short walk? Great. Just so long as it feels sincere, and not routine.

Some basic things like prayer and scripture study will still remain as fixtures for the first thing in my morning and the last thing at night, but in between I will try to enjoy giving myself what I need as I need it, and not feel guilty about not doing the things that I didn’t need. I’ll let you know how this went at the start of July.

Thank you.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Service to Others- Personal Example #2

My commitment yesterday was to try and reach out to that couple in my neighborhood again. I was glad that I made the commitment, because without it I don’t think I would have followed through. There was no great obstacle, mind you, just the general apathy that keeps me at home most days.

Things actually went almost exactly as before. That couple I was trying to reach wasn’t home again, so this time I left the plate of cookies on their doorstep with a quick note. Just something that said I was thinking of them and hoped they were well.

I had prepared two plates of cookies that night, though, and also made a visit to another couple that recently moved into our community. They were home and invited me in to sit down and chat with them for a half hour. It was a really nice talk, and I left feeling blessed from the interaction. I hope they did, too.

These have been fun experiences, and I like that they’re so sustainable. I could easily do a visit like this every week. I could also change it up, and perhaps instead of bringing cookies simply ask “Hey, our family is really hoping to help yours out for the next half hour. Could you give us some little task that we can take care of for you?” It’s certainly a bit unusual, but who is going to feel anything but positivity from that?

So I find myself wondering why has this been so difficult? I never doubted that it would be a positive experience, and yet I just didn’t want to do it. As I’ve thought about why that is I’ve been able to glean a few insights about myself. Truths about me that I think many others will be able to relate to as well. Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you all about them.