Why is it that we don’t do the things we know will make us happy? I’m sure each one of us could write a long list of things we wish we did on a regular basis…but just don’t. Most recently I’ve been noticing my own shortcomings in being social, giving others my time and attention, and finding ways to serve them. I don’t doubt that I will be a better person and find joy in doing these things, and yet I put them off even so.
As I’ve considered my situation, I’ve noticed that it is following the same pattern as a past experience I had. For the last several years I struggled to get into a regular exercise regime. I would start-and-stop over and over, flurries of intense workouts and then long doldrums of absolutely nothing. But then, a little more than a year ago, the struggle stopped. Today I run every workday during my lunch break, and if I happen to miss, I do aerobics at home in the evening.
Find Your Own Way)
What made the difference? Well one thing was finding my way of doing exercise. Early morning running might be great for some people, but it wasn’t for me. Leaving it until the evening never worked either, because after a long workday all I wanted to do was relax. Each time I chose a workout plan and it failed I would get disheartened and stop trying for months. But by trial and error I finally found something that worked.
It has been the same with reaching out to our neighbors. A little while ago my wife and I tried inviting a different family over for dinner every week. It went great for a little while, but it wasn’t sustainable as Summer vacations ate up so much of our schedule. Having people over for dinner is still something I want to do regularly, but I’m now adding quick cookies-and-chats visits as a fallback because they work more constantly.
You Enjoy What You Are Good At)
The other lesson I’ve learned is that when I say I do not like something, what I might really mean is that I am not good at it. For the longest while I was convinced that I hated running. But as I persevered, I found I enjoyed it more and more because I was getting better at it. During those first runs I would jog for five minutes, get winded, have to walk, try running again, get winded even sooner…it was embarrassing, so of course I “didn’t like it.” No one enjoys that experience.
Socially it is the same. At the start of my mission I was terrible at talking to people, but after being constant interaction with them all day I really got quite a bit better. Now I haven’t maintained that skill, but I know I can get it back with practice.
I think this is the same thing that keeps so many people inside of their shells. So many of us don’t know how to talk to people at first, so the experience is awkward, and of course we don’t like it. But there is a surefire way to get better at anything you want. By doing it. Yep, it’ll be awkward, stilted, and embarrassing for the first while. But then you’ll get better, and then it’ll be fun.
“Seek and ye shall find” still requires seeking. To “take his yoke upon us” is lighter than trying to do things on our own, but it is still a burden. I think many of us expect the way to be clean and paved for us when we do God’s work, but that would prevent us from having any growing experiences.
So yes, have confidence that you will succeed, that you will see miracles, and that God will show up for you. But temper that with the knowledge that it will take effort, that you will fail and have to pick yourself back up again, and that you will have to grow to make it. And then, with both those sides in mind, also remember that it will all be worth it in the end.