Posted on by Abe Austin

Deeper Love- Love Without Acceptance

An Unfounded Assertion)

Yesterday I discussed some of my issues with the question, “How can you say you follow Jesus and his commandment to love everyone, while also not accepting members of the LGBT community?” And for today’s discussion, we can even drop the parts about Jesus’s teachings and religious belief. Leaving us the more general assertion that if you do not accept someone’s sexual or gender identity, that you do not love them.

This assertion is built upon the assumption that love = acceptance. That assumption is everywhere in our society today, but nowhere have I seen it justified. Love and acceptance are clearly two different concepts, with two different meanings entirely, so why would we assume that they were equivalent, or that one was the necessary component of the other? It is not immediately apparent to me that this is the case, and I have never seen any argument, let alone a convincing one, that such a claim is logical.

Love Defined by Whom?)

And how can we determine whether someone has genuine love for another person or not? A spouse might say that she loves her husband every day right up until she serves him divorce papers. A father might struggle to ever say that he loves his children, even though he sacrifices for them every day. Is not the man who feels the love most qualified to know that it is really there? How can we tell a person that there is no love in his heart, when we do not personally feel what stirs within him?

I believe that when people suggest that love = acceptance, what they really mean is, “I can only feel loved if you accept me.” What they are describing then is not an inability for love to be sent by the lover, but an inability to receive it by the loved. Such a plain admission is unlikely, because usually in these conversations there is an intention to place the problem in the other person, but requiring acceptance says more about the person who demands it than the person not providing it.

If a person is unable to receive love unless special, personally defined criteria are met, then the solution is to examine what walls they have built up on their own side, to ask, “What is wrong in me that receiving love does not come naturally?” Just as if I find that I really am unable to love a person while fundamentally disagreeing with them, then the solution is for me to examine what walls I have built up on my side, to ask, “What is wrong in me that giving love is not natural?” If both of us will work inward, rather than at the other, then we will achieve the shared goal of love being given and received.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Deeper Love- Common Criticisms

Disagreements on Love)

As a traditional Christian, I have been challenged about how I can follow Jesus’s admonition to love everyone, and also be opposed to certain lifestyles, particularly those under the LGBT umbrella. I’d like to take a couple posts to address this matter. Sometimes I feel these questions are posed in good faith, and sometimes not, but in both cases, I believe the inquirer deserves for me to have ordered my thoughts and feelings into a coherent and genuine answer.

To start things off for today, I do have to point out why I say that sometimes these questions are not asked in good faith. I believe that many of the people asking these questions don’t actually believe that disapproval precludes love. We all have people that are very close to us, that engage in something that we think is hurtful, that we wish they felt differently on, that we fundamentally disagree with them about. Whether it be politics, or self-destructive behavior, or mannerisms, we all see flaws in other people, even the ones we love most. Yes, differences of opinion can become a source of hostility, and sour love in a relationship, but we all know that it doesn’t have to be that way. We can both love a person and disagree with parts of them.

Of course, it is true that I could profess to be a Christian and also have a deep hate and resentment for everyone in the LGBT community. That is a possibility, but it is not a foregone conclusion. It is also possible that I can both love and disagree.

Narrow Questions)

I do also find it interesting that I only ever get these questions related to people living an LGBT lifestyle. As a traditional Christian, there are many other lifestyle choices that I am also opposed to, yet no one ever asks me why I “don’t love them.” For example, I’m just as opposed to fornication, adultery, and most forms of divorce. Why not challenge me as to whether I can still love a person who cheated on his spouse or who got a divorce because he just wasn’t feeling it anymore?

From what I have observed, it seems that the love of Christians is only brought into question on LGBT matters because that movement is unique in its requirement for total acceptance. The fact that these questions only come up in such narrow contexts suggests more about the views of the people that ask them than they say about me and my views.

I think it’s also worth noting that among all the behaviors that I renounce as a Christian are ones that I struggle with also! I have spoken at some length on this blog about my addiction to pornography, which I absolutely condemn as one of the greatest evils of our day. I have always known that it is wrong, and every time that I’ve engaged with it I’ve felt deep shame, but also each time I strive to fall back in love with the Son of God that still lives inside of me. Thus, on questions of whether I can disapprove of behavior but still love the individual, my practice begins with myself.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Fix the World

Each side wants to fix the world by overcoming the other
To make the other side surrender to their side
And by so doing, they only make the world worse

There is only one way that the world could be fixed
And that is by each side surrendering to Christ

Posted on by Abe Austin

How the World Can Ever Change

Maybe even if I change
The world will stay the same
But on the other hand,
How can the world ever change
If I’m still staying the same

Posted on by Abe Austin

Do You Love Jesus?

Yes, Jesus truly loves you, no matter how you live your life
But that is only half of a relationship
Do you truly love him back?

Posted on by Abe Austin

A Loving Relationship with Christ- False Comforts

Twisting the Love of Christ)

There are a number of false doctrines relating to our relationship with God that are taught in the world today. There are those that say God does not exist and there is no absolute moral truth, so we may do whatever society will allow. There are those that say God does exist, and we must obsess over every shortcoming, trying to attain perfection on our own. But it is not as though unbelief is always paired with moral depravity, and belief with moral legalism. There are also those that mix the two in strange ways.

One example that I have seen repeatedly are so-called Christians who live in or support direct violations of God’s commands, and when challenged on that incongruity say something along the lines of, “Jesus loves us, no matter what we do.” Because they know Jesus loves everyone, they are sure that he accepts everyone, and to suggest otherwise is a hateful suggestion that he really doesn’t love anybody.

In short, they conflate love with acceptance and twist the gospel message. It is a difficult issue to disentangle, because they actually do have a correct understanding of the nature of Christ, but a terrible misunderstanding of what that actually means in regard to our salvation.

Roadmap)

In the course of this study, I am going to try and correct this confusion. I am going to start by acknowledging the points that the morally liberal Christian gets right but then show where they go astray. I will use scriptures to establish what the correct conception of our relationship with Christ is, and the signs by which we can gauge how aligned we are with those truths.

My purpose in doing this is not to be cruel to those who invoke the love of Christ incorrectly. To be frank, I do believe that they need to be awoken to the pain and guilt of wrong actions, but not because I desire ill for them, but because for all of us this is the first step to true healing and joy. I seek to dispel the palliative lies, only so that we can live in the healing truth.