Over the past few days, I’ve discussed the possibility of being a Christian and holding fast to the commandments that God has given me but also having love for those who choose to live a different lifestyle. In this final post I will attempt to summarize what I have gone over, and the errors that those who suggest love for another has to include acceptance of their decisions run afoul of.

Love and Disagreement)

The first issue is that no one actually believes this. Everyone knows that you don’t support everything that a loved one does. In my last post I gave the example of drunk driving. Any decent, moral person knows that drunk driving is wrong and would perhaps feel compelled to have a serious talk with a loved one who was repeatedly pulled over for it. But does that mean that now they don’t love that person anymore? Of course not.

The only difference is that pretty much everyone agrees that drunk driving is morally wrong, while other lifestyle choices not everyone agrees on the morality of. That’s fine. Perhaps what I call morally wrong you do not. Perhaps you think I am mistaken in being opposed to certain behaviors. Perhaps I will one day learn that you were objectively correct when I meet my Savior and he tells me that I was wrong, and I will have to confess that it must be so. So be it. But even if I have a wrong judgment today, it is a non-sequitur to suggest that that has anything to do with my capacity to love someone in the meantime.

Let me ask you this. Does my “morally wrong” opinion prevent you from loving people like me? If not, then you already know that the point I am making here is true. If it does, then you are projecting your own inability to love onto others.

A Solid Foundation)

Another error is that of believing that love is one and the same is acceptance, or that acceptance is a necessary component of love. These are two separate qualities, the first having been defined exhaustively in the gospels, the second only declared a virtue in modern culture. There is no compelling argument that I have ever heard of that acceptance is essential for love.

In fact, the scriptures show an example of love given to those that you do not accept. The purest love, God’s love, is said to be given to us “while we were yet sinners,” (Romans 5:8). He loves us even when we are still in opposition to Him. That’s why His love for us is so sure and transformative. Because He gives it to us wherever we are, motivating us to come to Him wherever He is. He loves us as we fall short, while defining for us exactly what it is we are falling short of.

And each disciple is called to do the same. I will love you, even when I believe that you are wrong, because God has shown me that even the wrong can be loved. This is true love, this is unconditional love, this is love that loves no matter what. This is what God calls us to. Not to abandon our principles to appease our neighbor, but to be stalwart on our principles, loving from the solid foundation of God’s word. That is the love that God has shown to each of us, so that is the love that I will try to emulate as well.