The soul is most imperiled, not by suffering, but by believing that it doesn’t need God.
It is not despair that goes before the fall, but pride.
Thus, the world will destroy itself from its richness, not its want.
Danger in Richness
Liking Bias
Once you’ve decided that you don’t like someone, then however they are is the wrong way for someone to be. And if they were the opposite, that would be the wrong way to be, too. It must be the wrong way, because you don’t like them, so how they are must deserve that disliking.
But, of course, then it isn’t really something about them at all. You don’t like them because of something in you, not them.
And the opposite is also true. People can give their love to another person, and then still love that person, even when given absolutely no reason to do so. They love because of something inside of them, not in the other person.
So, whether you look at God’s children and see much to despise, or much to love, is a reflection of what is going on inside of you.
Praying for an Enemy
It is only natural to desire ill for those who have hurt or betrayed us, but we know as Christians that we are called to a higher ideal. We are taught to actively pull our mind back when it tries to fantasize our enemies experiencing pain, and that is good, but we still may feel that we cannot honestly wish them well. We feel that seeking good for those that harmed us is part of our calling, but until God makes a transformation in our hearts, we can’t feel good and positive feelings towards a person just because we want to.
Fortunately, we do not have to wish someone well to pray for their good. We may not be able to say, “I hope that you have peace, I hope that things work out for you, I hope that all is well in your life,” but we can always say, “I pray that you have peace, I pray that things work out for you, I pray that all is well in your life.”
Prayer allows us to invoke that which our feelings are not yet in agreement to. By praying for our enemies, we surrender the course of their lives to whatever God deems right. And then, if it is God’s will for our enemies to face consequences, so be it, we at least have the clean conscience of knowing that we had nothing to do with it. Not even on a spiritual level.
And perhaps as we pray for the good for our enemy, God will work in our hearts so that we can hope for their good with genuine love. In either case, it is great wisdom in God to provide us a way that we may formally support the good, no matter the feelings of the heart.
Who Serves Whom?
John F. Kennedy famously said, “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.” With those words, he accurately identified one of the great problems we have in our modern Western culture: we invert who ought to be in service of whom. We get into painful situations because we constantly put ourselves above things when we are rightly beneath them.
Is my marriage serving my needs? Does this community match my preferences? Is my church supporting my beliefs? Does my conception of God align with my interests?
All of these are backward. Marriages languish because couples don’t submit themselves to the betterment of it. Society’s fracture because households don’t contribute to the whole. Churches go astray because parishioners rewrite its doctrine. God is lost because His children try to make Him in their own image.
Yes, the individual is important but never forget that some things are bigger than you, and you should be serving them, not the other way around.
You Believe Something False
There are so many different interpretations of scripture, so many opposing theological opinions, so many churches that have divided over incompatible beliefs. Is man saved by faith, or works? Are our fates predetermined, or dependent on free will? Should we believe in theosis true, and if so to what extent? Is God a trinity, or separate persons? Is the Bible a closed canon, or can there be new prophets and revelations? Is the rapture pre-tribulation, or post? What is the correct mode of baptism? Do any Old Testament traditions still apply today, and if so, which ones? Should women serve as pastors? Does God approve of same-sex relationships?
With so many different interpretations and opinions, the only way to assume that a certain church has the correct answer on all of them is to believe it is the one, true church, and that all others have gone astray. But even in that case, within the narrower scope of that single religion’s theology, there would still be room for a plethora of different personal beliefs, most of which would necessarily be false.
It is therefore unrealistic to assume that everything that you or I believe is correct. It is far more probably that as Isaiah said, “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way,” (Isaiah 53:6). Obviously that scripture applies to our sins, but surely also to our own misguided beliefs.
Each of us must reason as best we can, and obey as we see understand, but we must also have the humility to recognize that we are surely wrong in one way or another and be willing to make dramatic changes as needed. We must be open to ideas that before seemed impossible to us. We must always remain teachable. We must never be so sure of ourselves that we resist the corrections of the Lord. Ultimately, there is no belief that should be so precious that we would be unwilling to relinquish it if required by God.
The Death of the False Self
Perhaps the greatest obstacle to God winning our souls is that true conversion requires an interaction with the genuine self. And we, being a highly social and impressionable species, very rarely exist as our genuine self. Most of us spend our lives as a collage of other people’s thoughts and beliefs and attitudes. We hear a question, and we immediately know the pre-scripted answer that we have been told by others. God reaches out to us, but all He finds is fragments of Darwin, Nietzsche, and Oprah.
And so, before God corrects the false image we have of Him, He first must shake loose the false image we have of our own self. He thwarts our pretend identity. He puts us in situations where our pale imitations and our tired platitudes fail spectacularly. He does for us what He did for Abram, and Jacob, and Saul, stripping us down and leaving us barren, and lame, and blind.
Seek the death of the false self. Unearth the real you. Learn how to think outside the catechisms that you have been given. Only then will you be able to find your real identity, like Abraham, and Israel, and Paul. Only when you have the real you can a proper introduction be made between you and the Father.
Hatred or Love of Self
Over the past few decades, deaths of despair have climbed steadily in the United States. We seem to be a culture progressing into deeper and broader levels of hopelessness and personal anguish.
Many have pointed out how more and more people seem to hold an intense self-hatred also, the most likely cause of these increasing deaths. Naturally, it is assumed that the cure would be more self-love. More self-affirmation. More “me time.” But this assumes that self-hatred and self-love are mutually exclusive, and that they cannot exist in the same body.
In my experience, that assumption could not be further from the truth. Indeed, I have seen in my own life how the times of overabundant “self-love” have fueled the self-hatred that followed. Urging people to pursue more self-love might be like seeing someone who is drowning and bringing them a helpful glass of water.
In my experience, love is the cure to despair, but not self-love, divine love. I don’t need to find myself, I need to find Him. I don’t need to give myself what I want, I need to give myself what He wants for me. The true self-love that actually drives out self-hatred is only found in the love that we cultivate with our Creator.
Overwhelming Passion
We have many stories of people who are in want of strength, who plead for the Lord to empower them for the task ahead, and so it is in some cases. However, many of us carry a burden that is exactly the opposite. We have been given a passion that is too powerful for us to handle on their own.
If we turn that passion to self-indulgence it damages us with its overpowering stream. if we try to ignore it, it builds up pressure until it bursts out in painful ways. This passion could be a great gift, but it will instead be a great danger if we never learn what to do with it.
God gave us this passion so that we are meant to do with it is pour it back into Him. He is not only the well that forever gives He is also the well that can forever take. Only into Him can we safely disperse our passion, our energy, and our drive, and not be harmed by the flowing power.
We were never designed to operate on our own. God made us with oversized hearts so that we can fit the extra parts into Him.
Always Right
It is often easier to accept that God’s laws and principles were right for ancient people than to accept that they still apply today. So much has changed since the time of chariots and slings. Jesus and his apostles never had smartphones or cryptocurrency or space travel or AI. Can words of scripture from thousands of years ago truly never expire?
This is the testimony of all true believers.
Faith in God includes faith that His way was right in 3000 BC, 34 AD, and even in the 21st century. While the situation surrounding man is in constant flux, the word of God is rooted in something eternal, something that runs from before our root and extends beyond our end. So long as we remain human, God’s way will always be right.
The Games That Matter
It is better to be taken advantage of than to take advantage
Better to lose unfairly than to cheat
Better to trust than avoid betrayal
Better to forgive than demand justice
These are hard ideals to live by. They leave us open to being manipulated in the games of life and may very well result in a losing position. But if you play games whose outcome can be manipulated, then it’s a game that doesn’t really matter. If cheaters can get ahead in that game, then winning the game brings no honor and losing it brings no shame.
There are other games that you can play, ones that truly matter. You will know what they are by the fact that no one else can ever make you lose your place, only you.
Spiritual Wanderings 