Posted on by Abe Austin

A Choice of Integrity

A choice of integrity is a choice that I can live with for the long term and not hurt my conscience. If I am making a choice that I am willing to tolerate only for a time, but could not abide by permanently, then it is likely not a choice that I am making in integrity.

That is not to say that there cannot be changes of situation or perspective. It is possible to make one choice in integrity, and then with integrity change it afterward. It is also possible to recognize that one is entering a special season in life, and posture oneself accordingly, with the up-front understanding that after the season is over things will change.

But if from the outset I make a choice with the hope and expectation that those around me will change so that I do not have to abide by that choice any longer, then I have started without integrity. I am looking for outside sources to rescue me from my own decision, and that means I am making a violation against myself. I should not count on outside situations or people to change. I should ask myself what I would do from my conscience if they never changed, and the answer to that question is the choice of integrity.

Posted on by Abe Austin

The Best Lessons Must be Painful

The best lessons in life must be painful, because the best lessons require us to change. If they didn’t require us to change, they couldn’t be as meaningful as those that did. And to change means, to some degree, breaking and rebuilding. And breaking and rebuilding is painful.

So, if we are going through lessons that are painful, but which are causing us to change, it’s not that we are doing something wrong, we’re actually doing it exactly right. It’s just that growth is hard. That change is painful. It always has been this way, and it always will be.

Posted on by Abe Austin

Artificial Lights

We live in a world of artificial lights. They have become so ubiquitous that we can hardly fathom life without them. Some live every day with hardly any exposure to the sun at all. They do not need it. And all is well…so long as the lights stay on.

But one day, the electricity will be cut, and it will not come back on. And then we will remember the horror of the dark, and why we never outgrew the need for the sun.

Posted on by Abe Austin

When I Feel Like It


There are things that I know are right to do, but which I do not feel like doing right now.

But when I examine myself, I realize that I will never feel like doing them.

And if that is the case, then they can only ever be done when I do not feel like doing them.

And then, I know that I must do it now.

Posted on by Abe Austin

What Darkens the Soul


You will at times be selfish. You will be unwise. You will believe wrong things. You will hurt those that you love. You will give in to fear. You will judge wrongly.

None of this is good, but it is common and accepted. Many of these sins will be committed without thought, without meaning to do wrong, but afterwards realizing that your behavior went astray. Do not worry. Christ has atoned for all of these and obtaining forgiveness is easy.

Much more significant are the moments where God has already granted you clarity, where you have a sure understanding of what is right, and you sin against that knowledge anyway. You feel the full weight of your conscience, and you defy it anyway. And you do so because following your conscience would come at great personal cost. You learn that your soul has a price, and you have just exchanged it for that price.

These are the moments that truly defile you. These are the infractions that darken the soul. These are the choices that sin against the light. These are the times that lead to true damnation.

Of course, even here, repentance is possible, but it will be at an even greater cost than what you first sold your soul for. You must go back and correct the very choice you made wrong, and the consequences for doing right will be even higher now. It will hurt, you may be sure of it, but you may also be sure that it will be worth it.

Posted on by Abe Austin

The Last Line of Defense


Being a person of conscience means being willing to stand up for truth if no one else will. Obviously, we hope it doesn’t come to that, we hope that our society will be a buffer against the waves of lies and sin, but if they will not, we still will. If nowhere else, the buck stops here. We are the last line of defense. The iron plate that will not yield while everything else breaks in pieces. We cannot bear the idea of having to face our Maker and having Him ask of us, “but why didn’t you say anything.” And so, whether we wanted it or not, we are the bearers of our generation’s public conscience, the ones who will not give silent, implicit consent to what we know is wrong.

Posted on by Abe Austin

The Wisdom Inside

The fact that you can recognize wisdom in others, means that those same insights already exist within you. If they didn’t, you would have no reference to recognize it in others. All the realizations that we find by exploring the world can also be found by exploring within.

Posted on by Abe Austin

True Connection Through Vulnerability

True connection with another cannot come from surface-level interactions. To have a bosom friend requires knowing one another at the level of the soul. Real connection like that comes only through vulnerability, and vulnerability always involves risk. If there wasn’t risk, it would not, by definition, be vulnerable. This is why making true friends is not easy, it is a dangerous business. It means giving others ample opportunity to really hurt you and hate you, but trusting that they will honor you instead.

And, of course, some of the people that we are vulnerable with will let us down. They will betray our trust; they will wound us in our tender places. Being willing to still trust anyone after that is hard. It may go against our natural instincts. It is like being struck on one cheek and then turning the other. But, of course, that is exactly what we are called to do.

True connection with God is no different. It comes by going with Him into most vulnerable of places: our shames and our sins. By acknowledging and confessing these worst parts, we give Him every justification to hurt us and damn us, but we trust that He will forgive and heal us instead. Coming to God is a dangerous business, but it is the only way to become His true child.