When you apologize, acknowledge your wrongs and express remorse for them, stopping short of the wrongs that the other person has done to you. It doesn’t matter if you hurt them because of what they did, or if they responded disproportionately. Regardless of the context, if what you did was wrong, then own what you did and speak only to that.

Ideally, the other person will also apologize for their wrongs, stopping short of the wrongs that you did, only owning what their own failings. If they do, then you will both be free, but even if they don’t, you still will be.