Our Own Reality- Acts 26:26-29

For the king knoweth of these things, before whom also I speak freely: for I am persuaded that none of these things are hidden from him; for this thing was not done in a corner.
King Agrippa, believest thou the prophets? I know that thou believest.
Then Agrippa said unto Paul, Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian.
And Paul said, I would to God, that not only thou, but also all that hear me this day, were both almost, and altogether such as I am, except these bonds.

COMMENTARY

King Agrippa, believest thou the prophets? I know that thou believest.
Then Agrippa said unto Paul, Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian.

We do not know all that went through King Agrippa’s heart during Paul’s sermon, but this passage suggests that he could have become a believer…if he would have let himself. For some reason he felt that he couldn’t, though. Whether it was lingering personal doubts, the pressure of his country, or some other influence that we do not know, he could have accepted this reality, but a part of him would not allow it.
Very often we don’t consider the reality we believe as being a choice. We say that we just believe what we believe, and don’t believe what we don’t, and there is no conscious decision in that. But if we aren’t in charge of our own paradigm, then who is?
Certainly we are subject to predispositions and influence and conditioning for our beliefs. Certainly there are some paradigms that are too radical for us to accept right away. Certainly it is far easier to maintain our current view of reality than to adopt another. But none of this denies the fact that we can choose what we believe. And King Agrippa could have chosen to be converted.

Our Own Reality- Moses 1:9-10, John 4:9

Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans.
Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.

And the presence of God withdrew from Moses, that his glory was not upon Moses; and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he fell unto the earth.
And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.

COMMENTARY

How is it that thou askest drink of me? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans
The woman at the well had an understood reality: that Jews hated the Samaritans, and would have nothing to do with them. Thus her confusion when that reality was disrupted by Christ’s willingness to converse with her.
However this was just the beginning of the new realities that she was about to become acquainted with. For as we see in the next verse, Jesus then began to open her mind to the notion of living water. This is a reality that she struggles with initially, confusing it with a literal water, and not a spiritual nourishment. Bit-by-bit Jesus has to guide her through the first steps into this strange new world.

Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed
After his encounter with the Lord, Moses found his reality disrupted as well. Each of us is by default well acquainted with the reality of earth life, in which man is the highest form of existence. And while the reality of earth life is real, it is not the only reality that is real. There is also a heaven, a God, and in that broader reality man is a very small thing indeed.
Like the woman at the well, stepping into the greater reality might be awkward at first. Like Moses, we might find that doing so requires accepting uncomfortable facts, such as our own nothingness. But the greater reality is real and it is greater. It is only to our own benefit that we make the transition.

Count Your Blessings- Summary

This proved to be an excellent couple of weeks for me to study the notion of counting one’s blessings. This period has been full of many little rises and falls to my mood, as small things have continually come along both to aggravate and delight me. What I have learned from all this is just how fickle my sense of gratitude can be. When times turn even slightly up I praise God, when times turn even slightly down I have no interest in Him.
Feeling both sides of the coin, I have been able to consider why it is difficult to count my blessings at times. For me it is due to a sense of wounded pride, an indignation at sweeping away the hurt and saying all is well. But I have further discovered that that is not what counting one’s blessings is about at all. It is about dispelling a momentary fiction with the reality of truth.
Indeed, though at times it is difficult to lean into grateful retrospection, during these past two weeks I have felt markedly improved each time that I managed to do so. So let’s take a look at what it really means to count one’s blessings, and why it matters.

We Live in a State of Ever-Changing Fiction

When it rains it pours. Though our lives are usually mixed with elements that are both good and bad, we usually grab onto just one of those elements and shade all the rest by it. If we are struck most by something in our lives that is good, then we perceive every wrong thing as slight and forgettable. If we are struck most by something that is bad, then we perceive every good thing as hollow. We tally up only one side or the other at a time. Either I have seven things that make me feel so blessed right now, or else I have nine things that are leaving me down in the dumps.
One practice of meditation is to separate the different parts of one’s self and see each as being in its own unique state. Thus I might be feeling physically exhausted and emotionally depressed, but spiritually cared for. Absent this more granular awareness I might simply say that overall I feel “bad-ish,” which is not the greater truth.
It is understandable for us to live with a fickle mood, it is the common nature of us all. But if we are ever to live as dependable, steady beings, then we need to accept the fact that how we feel in the moment is probably not the truest expression of things as they really are.
James 1:8- A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
3 Nephi 13:24- No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon.

We Might Be Fickle, but There Are Permanent Things

It is true that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, but in my experience He tends to do one of those more than the other. So many of the truly important blessings in life are the ones that are with us forever. Our very existence, for example, is a gift from God, and one that we are assured will continue forever. It may change its state through the grave and the resurrection, but still we remain an ongoing identity. This is a permanent thing, one that is left unaffected by whether I am having a “good day” today or a “bad one.”
Love is another eternal gift. Both the love that God ever holds to us, and the love that He means to help us cultivate in ourselves. Existence is already a wonderful blessing, but all the more so when it can be paired with eternal love. Even if the woes of the moment temporarily darken us from being able to perceive the love of God, yet it is sill there even so. It is only a matter of breaking through the mold before we can perceive that eternal stream once more.
And when we are learn how to never be darkened and always perceive that eternal love, then we also discover the gift of eternal happiness. For living in the love of God is always an experience of joy. It takes time, even a long time, even so long that we may not find it until the next life; but eventually we can find out this great secret of how to forever live, love, and be happy.
Jeremiah 31:3- The Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.
John 3:16-For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

A Brighter View of Life is Truer

In the end, there must be one permanent reality. On the one hand it could be that there forever remains a mixture of happiness and sorrow, the same as we perceive now, one side never fully overthrowing the other. On the other hand, it could be that one of these sides will eventually prevail over the other, either plunging the world into constant misery, or else reclaiming it to a state of constant joy. We have had it proclaimed to us that this mixed reality is only a transitory state, and that after it does come a totality: a sweeping victory for goodness and joy.
Those that believe this to be true are inherently optimistic, and hold to those undercurrents of eternal good: life, love, and joy. To hold this sort of optimism is not to blindly ignore the pain of today. It does not require us to turn a deaf ear to the hurts happening around us. It does not preclude us from mourning our temporary losses. It is only to recognize that after this time of very real sadness, there still comes an eternity of even realer joy.
I think where most of us go astray with counting our blessings is when we start listing out the transitory, worldly goods that we enjoy: a new car, a roof over heads, and not having lost one’s job. These are good things, we should be grateful for them, but the deeper, abiding peace will only come when we start counting the infinite goods as well.
Isaiah 54:10- For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.
Matthew 24:35- Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
Psalm 102:26-27- They shall perish, but thou shalt endure: yea, all of them shall wax old like a garment; as a vesture shalt thou change them, and they shall be changed: But thou art the same, and thy years shall have no end.

Count Your Blessings- Luke 1:46-49; Psalm 86:10, 12-13

And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,
And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.

For thou art great, and doest wondrous things: thou art God alone.
I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name for evermore.
For great is thy mercy toward me: and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell.

COMMENTARY

My spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. For he that is mighty hath done to me great things
I will praise thee, Lord, for great is thy mercy: thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell
After Mary was given the calling to be the mother of God she took to praising Him for it. The Psalmist, too, was well versed in recalling the many blessings he had received, and giving God glory for them.
Of course Mary had prepared for her holy station by the way she lived a pure life, and the Psalmist had shown how brave he was, facing down giants in the name of the Lord. They had unquestionably done many good things, and arguably therefore deserved good thing. Even so, both of them acknowledged that what God had done for them had left them in awe. It wasn’t just good, it was incomprehensibly, abundantly good.
These two Saints remind us that you can be a good person, even a great person, and still acknowledge that God has made you what you are. You can accomplish wonderful things, wield powerful talents, and still hold on to your humility. For the great among us are the greatly blessed, and it behooves them to remember that fact.
When life has been good, when blessings have flowed richly, I have felt that temptation to say “look what I have done.” I have had the urge to praise myself, even when the gifts being given I had done literally nothing to obtain. At times like these I have had to remind myself that even my ability to breathe and continue in life should be considered a blessing. And everything beyond just breathing and living should be considered a blessings as well. In short, all things should be counted among my blessings.

Count Your Blessings- Personal Example

Recently I had an opportunity to reflect on how very many blessings I have in my life right now, and I was quite moved by the tally. If I go back three short years I recall a time of life that was very dark, one where I was beset by all manner of adversity and addiction. It was at then that I finally decided to really lean into God, and the time since has been a rush of healing and growing.

There are so many things that I worried about back then that I just do not worry about now. And I can honestly say that it has nothing to do with great and impressive things that I did. Frankly the “things that I did” were the whole problem, and it took all these blessings from God to save me from them!

He has not only taken care of the essentials in my life, He has also sprinkled me with pure pleasures for no other reason than that He apparently loves to make me happy. How then can I ever be dissatisfied in life?

And yet I can. Because shortly after being in awe of my blessings, I had a couple days down in the dumps. And after having my nose tweaked a little bit all of my gratitude was immediately replaced with all sorts of indignant “this isn’t fair” and “woe is me” feelings. None of the blessings had been taken back, my life was still as bounteous as ever, but the lens I view the world in can tint even the brightest day with blackness.

Honestly just writing this post has helped my mood a great deal by how it has reminded me that those blessings are still there. And that is one of the benefits of counting one’s blessings, it allows us to cut past the murkiness that sits on top, and view the pure water that still lies beneath.

What Chance Do I Have?- Isaiah 28:10, Matthew 6:34

For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little:

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

COMMENTARY

Precept upon precept; line upon line
It is easy when reading the stories of the saints to wonder how you could ever measure up to their great example. But it isn’t fair to compare yourself at the beginning of your journey to them at their end. Moses was not born as a prophet and lawgiver, he spent nearly a full lifetime growing into that role. Young Moses might not have been ready to stand up to the entire Egyptian nation and rescue all of the Hebrews…but he was ready to stand up to one soldier who was beating one Jew (Exodus 2:11-12).
So long as you are fighting down complacency and actively progressing, then it is alright to not yet be able to do all things. Just take it one line at a time.

Take therefore no thought for the morrow. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
I think the fear that we might fall away is simply the recognition that we are not yet ready to bear all things. And that is true, we are still unfinished vessels. But God is not going to ask the world of you today.
There is such a thing as preparing for the future, but there is also such a thing as fretting over things unnecessarily. You do not have to succeed today in tomorrow’s trials. If you do not feel ready to face a sacrifice like Abraham’s, that is fine. Simply ask if you are ready to face the sacrifices that are actually before you right now. I have found that I always am.

What Chance Do I Have?- Proverbs 13:20, Matthew 5:16

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

COMMENTARY

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed
That in which we prolong our association tends to rub off on us. I began this study with the question of “if so many valiant souls fell from the gospel, then what chance do I have?” This question, though, chooses to restrict its consideration to only the tragedies that are found in the scriptures. If we limit our view in this way, then of course we will start to grow cynical and doubt ourselves. If we become obsessed with observing Judas, we run the risk of forgetting that there was also a Peter.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works
I believe this is part of the reason why Jesus commanded his faithful disciples to shine forth. There will always be depressing examples that discourage us, and that pessimism needs to be actively beat back with a light of hope. Yes, there are those that tried and failed, but let us not forget that the scriptures also overflow with positive examples: men and women that came from humble beginnings, became spiritual giants, and held their faith to the end. There is sufficient reason to be an optimist, if we will just allow ourselves to focus on it.
If the paths of doubt and hope can each be well justified, then why not choose the better part?

The Way That Things Are- 1 Corinthians 13:12, Ecclesiastes 1:11

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.

COMMENTARY

For now we see through a glass, darkly
There is no remembrance of former things
We are mortal beings, and are therefore constrained to a very limited and temporal perspective. We can recall moments in the past, and we can imagine events in the future, but the only reality we can perceive directly is the singular now. We can hear of ancient days, and we can predict future ones, but we can only fully understand that which is immediately before us. We conceive of broader perspectives but we do not hold them. We think of the infinite, but we do not know it. Inherent in our natures is that we will forever view reality only through a narrow slice, one deeply tinted by our personal biases and contexts. And given that our view is so very narrow and skewed, and given that it is so very filtered, is there really any chance that we will be able to perceive even that narrow slice as it really is?

Now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known
But an infinite being, one that existed on a higher plane, would be able to take in the bigger picture all at once. A being of a higher dimension could perceive all of time and space, as easily as how I perceive all of a two-dimensional picture. This higher being would be entirely aware of the lower system’s laws, and would have a clear understanding of things as they really are. What’s more, this higher being, if He was benevolent, would be able to teach us all that was necessary for us to live in harmony with our bigger picture. Therefore God’s purpose in giving us directions is to enable us to live with a higher degree of foresight (His foresight) than we could have ever held on our own.
It is okay that we are limited now, for it is unavoidable. But it will not always be this way. One day we, too, shall know all. One day we will see the end from the beginning. One day we will understand that which is now impossible to comprehend.
We can either wait until that later day to be convinced of the truth, or we can start living faithfully now, and watch as the rest of the universe seems to magically fall into harmony with our steps. Really, though, it won’t be the universe falling into harmony with us, it will be us finally falling into harmony with the universe.

Evolving Your Beliefs- Summary

At the outset I was concerned that this study might be taken the wrong way. I never meant to suggest that we need to “evolve our beliefs” in the sense of calling certain commandments outmoded. I never meant to suggest that we try to blur the lines or call truth relative. I absolutely maintain that there is still right and wrong, that there is still good and evil, and that God has a specific path that we need to follow.

And that’s what this study was really meant to be about: learning God’s way better, and how we block our progress when we assume that we already know it perfectly. Perhaps the most important prerequisite to being teachable, is admitting that there are things one still needs to learn.

In this study I’ve tried to show how the need for rebirth is universal, and how it is no heresy to change one’s mind on spiritual matters, when one is sincerely deepening their faith. Let’s review a few of the key points that came up along the way.

We Are All Still Learning

We examined the stories of Nicodemus and Jonah, two men that were presumably very spiritual and very sincere seekers of the truth. Yet both of them were yet lacking. If they hadn’t been, these scriptural passages wouldn’t even exist!
Jonah’s case is particularly interesting, because he has the audacity to argue with God about what is right! It seems ridiculously arrogant, to reprimand the author of rightness for not doing the right thing…yet I think more of us do this than we realize. I’ve woken up to the realization that I was so arrogant myself.
None of us thinks that we’re perfect, but we do tend to think that we know perfectly. We feel that we aren’t wrong in our convictions, only that we don’t follow through on them. While yes, we probably do know better than we behave, perhaps we should also consider that if we actually did know better, our behavior would follow suit.
John 3:3- Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God
Jonah 3:10, 4:1And God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God repented of the evil, that he had said that he would do unto them; and he did it not. But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was very angry.

We Have Emotional Blockers to Our Growth

Which is worse, to admit that one was wrong, or to remain being wrong? Obviously the latter, yet I think all of us can readily recall moments where we refused to admit that we were in error, even though in our heart of hears we knew that we were.
And each of us probably knows what the root cause of our stubbornness is pride, pure and simple. The solution is also simple: to let go of that pride.
Or perhaps I should say, the solution is simple to write, not necessarily to do! Indeed, I wish to maintain utmost respect for just how difficult an undertaking it is to admit that one was wrong.
When we recognize this wall of pride in another person, or even in our own selves, we should be very sensitive about it. There could very well be a wound that is tucked behind that wall. The mind often has a very good reason for not wanting to admit its faults. Perhaps one was made to feel great shame as a child, and a part of them is afraid that confessing an error will subject them to that horrible pain once more.
Yes, one still needs to let go of their pride, one still needs to let go of misconceptions to embrace higher truth, but let us be gentle as we invite the refiner’s fire.
Isaiah 1:25- And I will turn my hand upon thee, and purely purge away thy dross, and take away all thy tin.

Releasing Misconceptions is Not Letting Go of God

Many of us might be afraid to sin against the God of our childhood. We might feel that if we say we believed something incorrectly, than we are saying that all our beliefs were incorrect.
I think of the man who was blind from birth, whom Jesus sent to wash in the pool of Siloam and then received his sight. His entire perspective was literally changed in an instant! However when the Pharisees heard of it, and how the man maintained that it was Christ who had healed him, they cast him out of the synagogue. He was no longer welcome in the worship of his youth. Isn’t that what we’re afraid of as well?
It is a very understandable hesitation, but the answer to it is found in the rest of that blind man’s story.
John 9:35-38- Jesus heard that they had cast him out; and when he had found him, he said unto him, Dost thou believe on the Son of God?
He answered and said, Who is he, Lord, that I might believe on him?
And Jesus said unto him, Thou hast both seen him, and it is he that talketh with thee.
And he said, Lord, I believe. And he worshipped him.

Evolving Your Beliefs- Question

We come to God to be refashioned by Him. He promises us “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you” (Ezekiel 36:26). I think most of us have a pretty basic expectation of how this refashioning is going to go. He’s going to take away our craving for sin, make our hearts kinder, and give us a deeper appreciation for the sacred. And at first, this might be exactly how things proceed.

At some point, though, there usually come changes that are unexpected. You see, each of us is an imperfect mortal, and invariably have misconceptions about God. At some point He is going to try and correct those, to show us who He is more truly. Beautiful as these moments are, they can also be disconcerting. We can have strong, emotional ties to our misconceptions, and letting go of them can feel like heresy.

Even more troubling, sometimes people struggle to let go of their misconceptions of God without letting go of Him entirely. They recognize a legitimate flaw in their previous belief system, but let go of the belief instead of the flaw.

With this study I would like to explore how we can safely navigate doubt, questions, and evolving perspectives. Have you experienced any of these in your life? Did you ever find it difficult to separate misguided periphery from the actual core of the gospel? In what ways did your spiritual life change after being enlightened?