I always knew that God must have a purpose for me, and I knew that it was my duty to find it. But for the longest while I held back. I never let myself get “too good” because then I figured He was going to ask me to sacrifice the things I loved the most.
By that I don’t mean that I was afraid about Him taking away my sins. I was all for having his help there! But no, I had a fear that He was going to take even the good things that I cherished: my stories, my writing, my creativity. I realize that might sound strange, but if I felt that way then I assume others have as well.
I think part of it comes down to my namesake. My parents named me Abraham after the biblical prophet, the guy who is most famous for being asked to kill his own son. That story has always landed very heavily with me.
Another reason was that those same things that excite me most: stories and writing and pretend, were all stifled in my home. It is only natural for children to believe that the things their parents dislike God also dislikes.
All of which is to say that I had a flawed perspective of God, one that made me fear Him. Our relationship is much better now, and I entirely give Him the credit for meeting me with all my misconceptions and lovingly setting me straight. Now I understand God’s calling for me, and it isn’t to take away the things that I love, it is to give them new life!